Three Men and a Beth
by bluecinderella4
Summary: Yes, this is based off of '3 Men & a Baby'. Three male friends/roommates are content with their current lives until everything changes when they find a baby girl on their doorstep. Couldn't come up with a better title, but there's a better summary inside.
1. Prologue- The Bachelors

**On my iPod (and tumblr page) I have the song "** _ **Always Thinking of You"**_ **. Those of you may recognize that as the opening song from** _ **3 Men & a Little Lady**_ **, the sequel to the hit movie/Spock directed** _ **3 Men & a Baby**_ **. I bring this up because** _ **that**_ **of all things somehow led me to the idea for this story AND it's already outlined sequel. I listened to the song, remembered the movie I heard it in, remembered that movie's predecessor, thought about how I'm never gonna get that** _ **Agents of SHIELD/3 Men & a Baby **_**fic off the ground, considered that maybe it'll work for another fandom…**

… **and here we are now.**

 **I did some other** _ **Glee**_ **fics that gave supporting character Burt Hummel the spotlight, so I thought maybe I could do the same with the forgotten plot convenience character that is Beth. Seriously, the show went nowhere with that poor little girl and her character had potential.**

 **Because I like to keep up w/ canon and continuity, I did have to make some alterations. I'll address specifics should they arise but it should be noted that Finn is still alive and Kurt is one of the men (even though the 3 men were all straight). So like the other fics, this is technically an AU based on a movie.**

 **Let's see how I create something out of this crazy idea, shall we?**

* * *

"Is this thing even on?" Kurt Hummel inquired as he began playing around with a video camera. "Does the red light mean it's on or is the light supposed to be green?"

" _Red_ light means it's on," his friend and neighbor Mercedes Jones told him.

"Here," Kurt practically thrusted the camera at her. "I'm more of an on-camera personality anyway."

"Remind me which one of us is the diva again," Mercedes quipped as she held the camera up.

Kurt playfully sneered at her. "Give me one sec to look camera ready," he quickly preened himself. "And...action."

"Okay Kurt Spielberg, we rollin'."

"Hi!" an excited Kurt waved to the camera. "If you're watching this, then you're watching a birthday tribute to my friend, roommate, stepbrother, and newest quarterback for…ugh, I can never remember sports teams. Anywho, this is a video tribute to the one and only Finn Hudson on this his twenty-fourth birthday."

"Which is finally on a Saturday where all his friends were available," Mercedes added.

"Yes, good point, 'Cedes. Oh, working behind the camera is friend and downstairs neighbor, Miss Mercedes Jones."

"Hey ya'll!"

"You're not gonna turn the camera towards you to give our audience a proper hello?"

"Not if it's true about the camera adding ten pounds."

"Oh hush; you always look fabulous. And FYI: no one can look bad in one of my designs."

"We gonna do this thing or not?"

"A compliment on my designs would have been nice."

There was an audible groan as she sighed. "Yes Kurt: you're latest designs are amazing."

"Was that so hard?" no one could see Mercedes roll her eyes as she followed Kurt around their apartment. "Not getting any sign of our birthday boy but, oh-" Kurt stopped and went over to a petite brunette at the salad portion of the catered dinner, "-if it isn't Finn Hudson's main squeeze, future Broadway Baby, Rachel Berry."

Rachel blushed. "It's only a part in the chorus."

"No small parts, Doll. Now Rachel, tell our audience how our resident Glee gal hooked up with a schlub like my stepbrother."

A small giggle emitted from Rachel. "For one thing, Finn Hudson is not a schlub. He's tall, and handsome, and he's got the most amazing smile. Sure he's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he makes up for it in so many more areas."

"Like?" Kurt prompted.

"Like…heart, and loyalty, athleticism for sure, Finn's got a great sense of humor, a good taste in music, he's thoughtful, and sweet, and… _romantic_."

"You put an obvious emphasis on the last word."

"Not many girls get to experience his romantic side. He definitely makes up for everything with his romantic side."

"And yet you two are always on-again-off-again."

"I'll admit, we do have a clash of personalities that often lead to us separating; but Finn is a great guy and he's one of those people I need to have in my life. I can't imagine a life without him."

"You have a special message for the birthday boy?"

Rachel inched toward the camera and kissed the lens. "I love you, Finn Hudson."

"Hey, your tacky lipstick smudged my camera!"

"Deal with it drama queen," Rachel gathered her plate and walked away.

"Good thing I always carry an emergency wipe," Kurt said as he reached into his pockets. Pulling out a small case of wipes, he cleaned off the camera. "We good, 'Cedes?" When Mercedes nodded, the camera bobbed up and down. "Moving on," Kurt went in a different direction toward the mohawked man near the radio hitting on some girl, "we now come to Finn's best friend and co-roommate; lead singer of up-and-coming Indie Rock band _Pipe Dreamers_ —which I like to think was derived from a not-so-successful Rodgers and Hammerstein's musical—Mr. Noah 'Puck' Puckerman." Puck excused himself from the girl and came closer to the camera. "Did I prevent you from getting intimate with what I'm sure is this week's conquest?"

"What do you want, Kurt?" Puck curtly questioned.

"I'm making a birthday video tribute to Finn."

"Why? He like dying or something?"

"No, it's just a present."

"Oh, then can I put my name on it too? I spent my money on some sweet nunchucks and forgot to buy my bro somethin' for his birthday."

"Of course you did. Just say something nice to Finn for his birthday and keep it appropriate please."

Puck waved to the camera. "What up, bro? Sorry about not getting you anything awesome, but wait til you see those nunchucks. Pretty effin' sweet."

"Puck!"

"I kept it clean. So I'd do like an I-O-U thing, but I kinda don't want to because _you_ still owe me twenty bucks. But hey, since it's your birthday and you're my bro, I'm not gonna charge interest. Just pay me back before I leave."

"To our oblivious audience out there, _Pipe Dreamers_ are going on tour as the opening act for-"

"Hey!" Puck whistled toward the girl he had been hitting on, "you still wanna go on that private tour of my bedroom?"

"So tactful," after Puck waggled his eyebrows and stuck his tongue out to the camera, Kurt groaned at that. "That coming from the jerk who had Finn cover him for his half of the rent last month."

"You sure Finn's even here?" Mercedes questioned as she looked around the apartment. "I mean this place is pretty packed."

"If we don't find him now, we'll find him when we bring out the cake." Kurt also looked around. "We might as well do that now. Come on 'Cedes, follow me to the kitchen."

As Kurt and Mercedes headed for the kitchen, they passed by a conversation involving Puck and fellow acquaintance Dave Karofsky. "So it's cool if I have them bring the package here?" Karofsky was asking Puck.

Puck shrugged. "Yeah, sure, no big."

"Great, thanks. Rick's gonna come by and pick it up-"

"Hold up, _Rick_? As in Rick 'the Stick' Nelson? You still talk to that douchenozzle?"

"Rick asked me to pick it up today and hold it for him, but somethin' came up and I was hoping I could drop it off here tomorrow before I go."

"What's he got comin'?"

"Dunno, but he doesn't want anyone to know about it. I think it's like supposed to be a surprise or somethin'. I think the word he used was ' _delicate_ '."

" _Delicate_?"

"Yeah like it was a ' _delicate matter_ ' or some crap like that and I'm not supposed to tell anyone about it or whatever; the dude's paying me so it's cool. So can I leave it with you?"

"I guess," Puck noticed Kurt and Rachel coming into the living room with the cake. "Damn, that cake looks good," he hurried over to the dessert as the birthday boy finally made an appearance.

Following a rousing rendition of " _Happy Birthday_ ", the crowd began chanting, "Speech! Speech!" much to Finn's slight embarrassment.

"Um…" Finn stumbled for the words, "…I guess I should start by thanking Kurt, and Puck, and Mercedes, and Rachel for the really awesome party that you guys clearly didn't have to throw."

"But wanted to," Kurt commented.

"Yeah, but I'm not the kinda person who likes to be the reason for a celebration; you know, getting all the gifts and the compliments. It feels weird. Good weird; but weird. So anyway: thanks to them and thanks to all you guys for coming. Now let's have some cake."

That got the biggest round of applause.

…

Later when the guests had gone, the birthday boy and the Broadway Baby were making out in the hallway. "Finn," Rachel tried to pull away, "I have to go."

"Stay," he breathed as he peppered her neck with kisses.

"I have rehearsals tomorrow."

"Call in sick."

"Finn, this is important to me."

With a sigh, Finn backed off. "Okay, sorry, I was just hoping you'd stay as a birthday gift to me."

She quirked a brow. "I thought getting gifts was weird."

"I love any gift from you." Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Okay, except for those creepy his and her calendars you made as a gift when we started dating."

"I appreciate your honesty," she kissed his cheek. "And thank you for letting me go." This time she gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Happy Birthday, Finn."

"Happy Birthday, Rachel," Finn soon became flustered with his mistake causing Rachel to giggle. "I mean: see you later, Rachel." She blew him a kiss as she left the apartment.

"Dude," the indication of Puck's presence gave Finn a small start, "that scene was hard to watch. Berry's got you whipped."

"It was only a goodnight kiss and I'm sure you wouldn't mind a scene like that if you got yourself a girlfriend."

"First off: the Puckster never settles for one chick. And 'B': when I get a kiss goodnight, it usually lasts til morning."

"I know," Kurt was making his way to his roommates with a bottle of wine and three glasses, "my room is closest to yours."

"A steady girl could do you some good, Puck," Finn noted.

"And here it comes," Kurt quickly muttered before Puck opened his mouth.

"Yeah, but," Kurt knew where Puck was going with this and readied a glass of wine, "a steady girl doesn't _do_ me good."

"Classy," Kurt commented as he took a drink.

"I'm just suggesting that having a steady girl in your life might be beneficial to you," Finn clarified before turning to Kurt. "Did I use that word right? 'Beneficial'?" Kurt nodded. "Cool."

"And I'm suggestin' your suggestion is bull," Puck continued. "We don't need another chick around here."

"Dude!" Finn got offended. "What'd I say about calling my brother a girl?"

"I was talking about Rachel and Mercedes."

"Oh."

"But yeah, Kurt too. No offense, Kurt."

"None taken," Kurt finished pouring the wine into the other two glasses, "you mean well in your own sick, twisted, Puck kind of way." He passed the glasses to his roommates. "Enough talk; let's toast to our birthday boy."

"To Finn," Puck raised his glass to his friend.

"And to our lives," Finn added. "Things are totally awesome right now just the way they are and I think we should toast to that. To our lives."

"Cheers," the three men toasted as they clinked their glasses together.

* * *

 **Gee, I hope Finn didn't jinx anything by saying that.**

 **So we've established Finn, Kurt, and Puck are our 3 men (Peter, Michael, and Jack respectively) and if you read my summary, Beth will be the 'baby' of the story—and if you haven't seen the movie then you'll find out what role she plays in the next chapter. The characters Rachel and Mercedes are based on (Rebecca and Mrs. Hathaway) don't appear in the sequel, but rest assured, Rachel and Mercedes will—I've made some adjustments to keep them in.**

 **I know this doesn't seem like much, but this is just a setup chapter. We'll get into some main plot territory in the next chapter.**


	2. The Package

**So I wanted to thank all the people who left reviews and favorited/followed this story already. Going in, I had serious doubts about this one. I just thought this was another crazy, dumb idea I need to get out of my head and that no one was gonna read it. I didn't even think this fic was up for an hour and I was proven wrong. So thank you guys so, so much you honestly have no idea how much that means to me.**

 **Now we're gonna set the story in motion.**

* * *

Sunday was usually a day for rest and sleeping in; but not for Finn Hudson. Finn made sure to get up early every Sunday for a lengthy workout while Kurt got his "beauty sleep" and Puck—well, Puck was always in bed regardless. So Finn used this time to take out his mother's former _Sweatin' to the Oldies_ VHS tapes and exercise along with Richard Simmons (grateful the other guys were asleep).

"PUCKERMAN!" When Finn heard a voice, he frantically turned the tape off and picked up some barbells. This voice belonged to one of Puck's "friends" Santana Lopez. Santana stormed into the den where Finn was working out. "Where the hell is Puckerman?'

Finn couldn't help but be surprised. "Puck's not in bed?"

"If he was, would I be in here asking where the hell he is?"

"I haven't seen or heard Puck this morning so I assumed he was in bed."

"Well he's not, and my last twenty bucks isn't in my wallet either." She groaned in irritation. "Whatever, I have to get to work." This time she stormed out of the apartment (as evident by the door slam).

"Someone's not a morning person," Finn waited until she was gone before saying that. He then resumed the workout tape, but had to pause it when his phone went off. It was a text message from Puck.

 _Took earlier flight also wanna avoid Santana C U & Kurt whenever I get back_

"If he wants to avoid her, how come he's always sleeping with her?" Finn asked this question aloud despite knowing he wouldn't get a response. When he started the video again, this time his phone rang. Puck. "Seriously?" Finn answered the call. "What?"

" _Good morning to you too bro,"_ Puck sarcastically greeted. _"Just wanted to make sure you got my message."_

"Yes, and Santana avoided." Puck blew a sigh of relief on the other end. "Why do you keep sleeping with her if you want to avoid her?"

" _Um, because she's_ that _good. You should know."_

"I slept with her _one_ time in high school!"

" _Yeah, your first time."_

"Why was she here? Are you dating her again or-"

" _God no! It's just a sexual thing_."

"Good, I never liked the two of you together."

" _Plus_ _I think Santana's kind of a lesbian now."_

"How exactly is she _kind of_ a lesbian?"

" _Well last night she called me_ Brittany _."_

"As in Britney Spears or-"

" _Brittany, that blonde girl she's always hanging out with. You've met her a few times."_

"Is that your way of confirming you've slept with Brittany too?"

" _I'm like a sex shark; I gotta keep sexing or I die."_

Finn was clearly grossed out by that crass remark, "Dude-"

" _Oh hey, I just remembered something: I promised someone I'd hold onto their package for them,"_ Puck snickered at his double entendre, " _anyway, they said the guys would come pick it up in a few days."_

"What guys? Who are you even doing this for?"

" _I promised I wouldn't say anything. Just set it aside and don't worry about it. Could you just make sure you leave it somewhere until they pick it up?"_

Finn sighed. "Yeah, sure."

" _Great, thanks. I guess I'll see you when I get back."_

"'Kay, bye Puck," Finn waited for Puck to hang up before doing so himself.

"What did Puck want?" Kurt's sudden appearance startled Finn.

"He just called to say goodbye."

"Weird, because he never calls unless he wants something."

"He did ask me to do a small favor for him, no big. What are you...why are you up so early?"

Kurt shrugged. "Couldn't sleep; had some ideas for designs I wanted to sketch out."

"Okay, cool. I was just gonna go out for a jog."

"Did we do enough 'sweating to the oldies'?"

"I watch it for the exercises…sometimes the music."

"At least someone's getting use out of the DVD/VCR combo."

Finn turned the video off. "I think I'll go for that jog now."

Kurt watched Finn take his i-Pod out of his pocket. "Gonna sweat to some modern music?"

"You're never gonna let this go, are you?"

"Only because you're embarrassed by it."

"Kurt."

"Okay, fine, I won't tell; but if your mom calls asking what happened to those videos, I can't make any promises."

…

" _Hold on to that feeling-"_ Finn was jamming along to Journey as he ran back up to his apartment. "Whoops," he was careful to jog around the carseat and pink diaper bag beside it resting at his front door and run into the apartment. "Wait, what?" He opened the door again to confirm what was there. "Uh, Kurt!" Finn couldn't take his eyes off what was sitting in the carseat. "Kurt, could you come out here please?"

Tying his light blue robe closed, Kurt joined his brother at the doorway. "What, Finn?" Finn pointed down. "Um…" Kurt stumbled for words, "…I'm not the only one seeing this am I?"

"Let me just…" Finn pinched himself, then Kurt.

"OW!"

"Okay, this is real."

"Why is there a baby at our doorstep?" Kurt was trying not to get hysterical. "What's it doing here?"

"I think it's sleeping."

"Is this really the time for jokes?"

"I wasn't-"

"Hey," Kurt bent down to retrieve something in front of the carseat, "whoever did this left a note." He straightened out the paper and began to read. " _Dear Puck, here's our baby…_ " the impact of that first statement dawned on them. "What?!"

"Oh my God!" Finn was about to have a panic attack. "Oh my God! Oh my God!"

"I knew something like this was going to happen eventually." Kurt continued to read the letter as Finn looked over Kurt's shoulder, both unaware that the baby was beginning to stir. " _I can't handle this now and I don't know where, or_ who _else to turn t_ o. _This is probably the hardest thing I will ever do and_ _someday I hope you can both forgive me. I just thought it would be best if Beth went to stay with her Daddy. Please tell her that her Mommy will always love her: Q."_

"' _Q_ '?" Finn snatched the letter from Kurt. "Are you sure that's a 'Q'."

"I can read cursive, Finn."

"So you're sure this is a ' _Q_ '?"

Kurt took a second glance at the letter. "I think so. Is that really the major issue right now?"

"I'm just askin' 'cause I don't know any girls Puck's been with whose name starts with ' _Q_ '."

"I'm sure there have been. 'Q' could also be her last name." Kurt considered something, "The problem is narrowing it down out of the hundreds of girls your best friend has slept with!"

"This must be the package!"

"What?"

"Puck said there was a package coming today, but that we shouldn't worry about it and wait for 'em to pick it up!"

"Wait for who to pick it up?"

"He didn't say!"

"Did he tell you who sent it?"

"No, and he just treated it like it wasn't a big deal."

"Why doesn't it surprise me that he refers to this as a _package_? Noah Puckerman has never been one to take things seriously; I guess the same can be said for his procreation."

"So what are _we_ supposed to do?" The sudden crying brought the guys' attention back to Beth.

"Hey, no," Kurt bent down and tried to soothe the baby, "no don't cry; we don't need another noise violation from the landlord." He got her to quiet a little. "Aww, the poor little thing is probably as anxious and confused as we are."

"Should we…pick it up or something?"

"Well we're gonna have to do something."

"What _we_? It's not our responsibility!"

" _She_ , Finn, _she's_ not our responsibility."

"Exactly, _she's_ Puck's problem."

"Finn, we can't just leave her out here; she's a helpless little baby!"

"Then maybe we should call somebody."

"Who can we call?"

"Well then what are we supposed to do?!" The stepbrothers seemed to communicate with each other through their facial expressions before another set of noises from Beth brought the attention back to the baby.

"I think we should take her inside." Finn just stood there. "Well."

"What?"

"Pick her up."

"Me?"

"You found her!"

"So what! You pick her up!"

"I'm not picking her up!" Beth's wails got louder.

"Pick her up together?"

Kurt sighed. "Fine."

Finn nodded. "On three: one, two, three," as Finn reached for one side of the carseat, Kurt picked up the diaper bag. "Hey!"

"Don't just stand there, get her inside!"

"You cheated."

"So did you, you picked up the carseat!" Kurt had a point. "Now come on, get her inside!" Finn bobbed his head and brought the crying package inside.

* * *

 **I thought it best to stop there. The next scene was them carrying her inside only for one of the men to leave shortly after. So I thought I'd make this the main plot setup chapter.**


	3. Feminine Advice for Male Dummies

**I want to stress that I can't make any promises on how fast I can update since I'm now a working gal. So if it takes a while to post, it's probably because of work. I want you guys to know that ahead of time in case you become too invested and nothing happens.**

 **Now that that's out of the way, let's get back to our story.**

* * *

Finn was careful not to completely run into the apartment with a crying baby as Kurt struggled to keep up with him. As Finn hurried to the coffee table, Kurt pushed everything off of it to clear a space for the carseat and diaper bag. Naturally, the baby was still crying as the carseat she was riding in was clumsily set on the coffee table.

"Now what?" Finn questioned over the screaming.

"I don't have all the answers!" Kurt called back to him.

"What's wrong with her? Why won't she stop crying?"

"If she's anything like her father, she probably wants a boob." Kurt noticed Finn's puzzled expression. "Breastmilk, Finn! Beth's probably hungry."

"You called her Beth."

"That is her name."

"You shouldn't say it so casually or else you might grow to like the kid or something."

" _Her_ , Finn!"

"Well _her_ is probably hungry!"

"Did I not just get through saying that?"

"It's kinda hard to hear you over a baby crying!" Finn began to anxiously pace. "What are we supposed to feed her?"

"I don't know; milk, baby food, anything soft."

"We were babies once; what did we eat?"

"Seriously, do you not listen? I basically gave a complete list."

"One of us should probably go get the food." They stared down at each other before an intense round of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Finn was the winner. "I guess I'm gonna go get some milk, baby food, and soft stuff. What else do babies need?"

Kurt struggled to think. "I dunno: diapers, clothes, someplace to sleep, one of those bath things, and maybe some toys."

"Like I'm gonna find all that at the _grocery_ store," Finn grabbed his keys.

"Just because I like babies doesn't mean I'm an expert on them! I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her."

"Entertain her or something."

"Enlighten me Finn: how does one entertain a baby?"

"Do whatever our parents did to get us to shut up."

"I think she's too young to understand the concept of bribery."

"Then do what my mom did when I was little. Whenever I was upset she'd start to make funny faces to cheer me up. She'd tell me stories, she'd play toys with me, heck Mom even sang to put me to sleep—badly—and it did the trick. Just get her to stop crying!" with that, Finn left.

After a quick irritated groan, Kurt rushed back inside and over to the baby. "It's alright, Beth: Uncle Kurt's here," that seemed to make her wail louder. "I know, I'd feel the same if I were you," a frenzied Kurt began looking around the room for something to distract Beth with. "Um…" when he noticed his hands were flailing, he decided to make use of them. "…look," he altered his hands to make the shape of what appeared to be a bird, "…look at the birdy!" Beth continued to cry. "This is useless," Kurt tried to think of something else. "How 'bout a story, huh? Once upon a time…" there really was no point trying to do that unless he yelled the whole thing. Even then, Beth would still cry through it. "Faces!" Kurt decided to try funny faces. That didn't work either. "Cut me some slack, Beth, I don't have much to work with." Desperate, Kurt began to wave a transparent coaster in front of her. "See that? Ooh, shiny. Little kids love shiny things, right?" Her continued wailing seemed to indicate 'no'. "Uh…uh…" Kurt started to snap his fingers in some sort of rhythm. " _Well I_ …" he was ad-libbing this impromptu song, "… _I don't know what I'm doin'! I'm 'bout to go insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah_." His song was met with cries. Dejected, Kurt melodramatically slumped onto the couch with his hand over his forehead. "I told those guys nothing good comes from sleeping with women."

…

"'Scuse me," Finn stopped a stockboy in the store, "what aisle is your baby food in?"

"Aisle two; that's the third aisle to the right," the boy instructed.

"Thanks," Finn ran toward the aisle expecting to find what he was looking for. He technically did as he gazed at the long aisle of baby supplies before him. "They have got to be kidding!" He began browsing at the numerous amounts of baby food before him. "We are so screwed." As a red-headed woman made her way down the aisle wheeling her son in his stroller, Finn stopped her. "Hi, yeah, I know this sounds crazy, but I don't know what to feed a baby." He grabbed the nearest jar. "It's cool to give her this right?"

"Well," the woman began, "that depends on whether or not your baby is a toddler."

"Toddler?"

"A toddler qualifies as a year and a half to two years."

"Oh," he put the jar back. "Well I actually need something for a _baby_ baby not a _toddler_ baby."

The woman giggled. "This is your first isn't it?"

He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "First?"

"First baby."

"Oh, that makes sense. And yeah it kinda, sorta is."

She gave a small laugh. "No matter how much you prepare, you're never quite ready for them."

"Understatement of the millennium," Finn muttered as he looked at the shelves of food.

"I can sense why you're panicking. What an infant eats in its first twelve months can determine its entire physical and psychological future."

"Infant? What's an infant?"

"That's another name for a baby."

"Yee-ah. Okay Miss-"

"Schuester, Mrs. Schuester; but you can call me Emma."

"-Emma: I have no idea what I'm doing and I was most definitely _not_ prepared for this."

"You and your wife didn't take childcare classes?"

"I'm not married and it's not my baby."

"Listen: I don't want to get involved with anyone's personal life unless I'm on the clock and-"

"I just need to know what to feed a baby. What's the best-selling brand?"

"The one with the white can."

"Great."

"But it only sells the most because it's the cheapest."

He pointed to one nearby. "How 'bout this one?"

"It's for older babies."

Finn read the label. "Ages six to twelve months."

"How old is the baby?"

"Um…" Finn exaggerated a measurement with his hands, "…she's about that old."

"You don't know how old the baby is?"

"Should I?"

"It would be helpful to know that, yes"

"The baby's mom kinda forgot to tell us that."

"Uh-huh," despite the numerous questions, Emma tried not to interfere with this stranger's personal life. "Tell me: is the baby teething?"

"She doesn't have any." This time, Emma gave him a confused look. "Look Emma, I don't need any judgment and I need all the support I can get. All I know is the baby's small, and white, and toothless. Her name is Beth and she likes to cry."

"Babies don't really _like_ to cry. They cry to signal that something's wrong and they need something."

"Well Beth needs food…and probably some other baby stuff too. And she's kinda small so maybe I could get stuff in like two different ages."

"I suppose; but if she's less than three months, you should remember to sterilize the nipple."

A slack-jawed Finn looked down at his chest. "And how do I do that exactly?"

…

"Uh…" Kurt had clearly run out of ideas as he looked down at Beth. "…Beth, I'm gonna pick you up now," he slowly began to lift the crying baby and held her away from him. "You're gonna have to bear with me kid." Her crying quieted a little. "Is that what you wanted; to be held?" Despite the decrease in noise, Beth was still making upset noises. "Wanna go for a walk?" Still holding her at a distance, Kurt began to walk with her. "Maybe if I just…" he put one hand on the back of Beth's neck, and the other on her lower back, "…I remember something about supporting the head. Is this right? Why am I asking you that; you can't answer me." Taking his hand away from her back, he reached for the remote. "Maybe you'd like a little TV, huh? If what that letter says is true and you are Puck's kid, then you like boobs and television—and if you're _really_ like your father, you like them both at the same time," Kurt turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels. "God, there's never anything on on Sundays—not til primetime anyway." He came across a provocative looking program. "Whoops," he covered Beth's eyes, "can't have you watching that now." Kurt made sure to push the record button so that it could be watched later. Soon afterwards, there was a knock on the door. "Don't tell me he forgot his key again." Carrying the crying baby, Kurt stormed to the door. "What the hell took you so-" he stopped when he realized who was actually at the door. "Mercedes!"

Of course the baby was the first thing Mercedes noticed. "I guess I really was hearing a baby crying." She began cooing to the baby. "Oh, she's so cute."

"And loud."

"Where did she come from?"

"A stork brought her! Come on 'Cedes, you should know where babies come from."

"I meant what is this baby that wasn't here yesterday doing here today?"

"I'd tell you, but I doubt you'd hear me over the crying."

"Give her to me," Kurt passed the baby to Mercedes. "For one thing, you weren't really holding her right."

"Yes, and guys like me are experts on holding girls." A stunned Kurt watched as Mercedes managed to stop Beth from crying. "Are you some sort of witch or something; how did you do that?!"

"It's something I learned from taking care of my nephew. Babies liked to be held close to a person. If you can't get her what she wants, holding her close might make her feel like things are gonna be okay anyway." She stopped Beth from trying to grab her boob. "Sorry little girl, but this dairy is closed."

"Is it too impulsive for me to ask you to stay here forever." Mercedes quirked a brow at him. "Or at least until Beth's eighteen?"

"That's the baby's name, Beth?" Kurt nodded. "What's her mom's name?"

"Pick any name you like. The note the mother left behind didn't say anything; she just asked Puck to take care of his kid."

"This is Puck's kid?" Another nod from Kurt. "I don't know why I'm surprised by that: something like this was bound to happen sooner or later."

"I know, right!"

Mercedes took a closer look at Beth. "Beth does kinda look like Puck." She tickled Beth's belly. "She's got his smile, that's for sure."

"She definitely gets her looks from her mother though."

"Oh, I came to tell you that you got somethin' in your mailbox. I saw it on my way out and thought I'd let you know."

"I've been a little busy this morning to notice."

"Whoa!" Mercedes held the baby away. "Smells like someone did a doodle."

"A _what_?"

"That's what we say when my nephew defecates in his diaper."

"You mean ' _pooped_ '?"

"I never really did like that word," Mercedes passed Beth to Kurt. "I'll let you take care of this: I'm late for a meeting."

"What?" Instantly, Beth began crying again. "No! No, I-"

"But if you ever need help any other time, I'd be happy to help."

"I need help now! I can't do this alone!"

As if on cue, someone entered the apartment as Mercedes exited. "You're not alone: Finn's here. Hey Finn," she greeted him before leaving.

"Perfect timing," Kurt snipped at his stepbrother. Finn then brushed past Kurt with a massive amount of shopping bags. "What did you do, buy the whole store?"

"Do you know how awkward it is for a stranger to tell you what you should and shouldn't buy for a baby you don't know how old is?" Finn questioned him. "I thought I'd like to avoid that from now on, so I got a lot of stuff the baby might need." Finn took notice of the crying child. "I hear she hasn't stopped crying." A whiff of something foul alerted Finn. "Oh, ew, what's that smell?"

"Beth just did a doodle."

"A _what_?"

…

The two guys took off the soiled diaper to reveal Beth's "doodle." Naturally, they were both grossed out by this discovery. "Oh, ew!" Finn tried to look away.

"Maybe we shouldn't have done this on the couch," Kurt added as he blindly reached for the wipes.

"How could something so small create something like…" Finn pointed to the diaper's contents, "…like _that_?" Trying not to panic, he looked at Kurt. "Are we really gonna do this?"

"We kind of have to! I mean, we're gonna learn eventually, so we might as well get this over with now." Kurt stifled his vomit as he pulled away the diaper and passed it to Finn.

"Oh, sick!" Finn tossed the diaper aside.

"Here," Kurt held Beth's legs to stop her from squirming around. "I'll hold her, you wipe."

Disgusted, Finn reached for a wipe. "Should we even be doing this? I mean, she's a girl." Kurt gave him an 'are you serious' look. "Okay, yeah, I guess that does sound kinda stupid," Finn began to wipe Beth's bottom. "Man, this stuff is everywhere! It's so sticky and gross!" When he assumed he was finished, he tossed the wipe aside. "Now what?"

"Hand me one of the diapers." Finn reached for the closest box, opened it, and handed a diaper to Kurt. "Finn," Kurt was about to point out the obvious, "this diaper is bigger than she is!"

"Relax, I got a smaller size," Finn searched for another box. "Try one of these."

Kurt started to diaper the baby. "I hope I'm doing this right."

"The tapes go in front."

"How do you know that?"

"Let's just say my mom has a lot of embarrassing baby photos of me."

"And…I think I'm finished. Hold her up; let's see if it's too big or not."

"Why do I have to hold her up?"

"You're gonna have to pick her up eventually. I held her all day, now it's your turn."

With a sigh, Finn picked up Beth. When he did, the clean diaper slid off. "I don't think you were finished."

"I think that one was like a size too big for her."

"Hurry up and get her a new one before-" Finn was cut off by a leaking sound. The source of the leak coming from Beth. All the two men could do was watch as Beth urinated on herself, on the fallen diaper, on some of the couch, and even on some of Finn. Resisting the urge to freak out or get upset, the guys watched as Beth smiled.

"Oh yeah," Kurt's tone was monotonous, "that's definitely Puck's smile."

"You think maybe this was her plan all along or something?"

"Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me."

…

"I'm gonna kill Puck," Finn was vowing as he finished cleaning the couch. He gave one final scrub and then joined Kurt in the bathroom where Kurt was cleaning Beth over the sink. "I'm pretty sure I got it all."

"Great," a frustrated Kurt gave Beth to Finn. "Could you hold her still?"

"How are we supposed to get her clean if she never stops moving?"

"Modern science can only come so far, Finn."

"Did you bring that baby lotion in the bathroom with you?"

"It's over there," Kurt gestured to the lotion. "I'm just not comfortable with the idea of rubbing lotion on another person's ass or privates."

"Well I'm not gonna do it!"

"Then it's a waste of a lotion."

"Here," Finn handed Beth back to Kurt, squirted the lotion into the sink, and then splashed some of the water on Beth. Finn noticed the look Kurt was giving him. "What?"

Kurt sighed. "Nothing. Just go get another diaper."

"I don't remember what I did with the smaller ones."

"Of course you don't."

Finn went over to the clothes hamper and took out one of his t-shirts. "Let's just use this for a few minutes."

"Your favorite t-shirt?"

"Would you rather we use _your_ clothes?"

Kurt didn't need to give that another thought. "Good choice, Finn."

Together, he and Kurt wrapped Beth up in Finn's favorite t-shirt. "I think that should be okay." When Finn picked her up, that's when Beth chose to make another doodle. Finn pulled her away so that he could make eye contact with her. "Does something about me just scream 'toilet' to you?"

* * *

 **I was not sure where to end with this. But since I figured the next part dealt with them being tired and needing help, I'd put that as the focus of the next chapter.**


	4. The Best Kind of Help

**Nothing to say, moving on to the next chapter.**

* * *

"Ugh," Finn nearly threw his phone down in rage. "This has to be like the thousandth time I've tried to reach Puck. Why isn't he answering his phone?"

"Seeing as he never turns it off," a visibly exhausted Kurt began, "we can narrow our options to him not answering because it's a call and not text."

"I tried texting him."

"Other choices include loss of service due to him neglecting to pay his bill as usual, him forgetting it at some random girl's place again, or the ever popular 'dropped my phone in the crapper' excuse," Kurt let out a massive yawn.

"I know," Finn sat beside him. "I'm tired too. You think maybe tonight she'll _finally_ sleep through the night?"

"We hoped that yesterday and Sunday, so maybe if we _don't_ hope it for tonight, it _will_ happen." Beth's crying could now be heard in the background. "But that's gonna be highly unlikely." The brothers let out a long, somewhat defeated sigh. "Face it, we need some regular help."

"Yeah, but who can we get to help us?"

…

Rachel and a male companion of hers stepped out of the elevator and hurried toward Finn and Kurt's apartment. "Finn!" Rachel called as she knocked on the door. "I'm here! What's the emergency?"

"Rachel!" Finn could be heard before opening the door. "Rachel, I'm so glad you're-" Finn noticed Rachel wasn't alone, "-you're here with another guy."

"Finn, this is Brody Weston: he's a dancer in the show."

"Cool, whatever, he can help too," he started headed toward one of the rooms.

"Finn," Rachel (and Brody) followed after him, "what's wrong? What's the matter?"

Finn led them to the makeshift area he and Kurt set up for Beth's temporary room. " _She_ is the matter."

Brody pointed out the obvious by announcing, "That's a baby."

"Why does everyone have to say that like they're so surprised? Of course it's a baby."

"Oh!" Rachel scooped up Beth and began to bounce her. "She's so adorable. Hello," Rachel cooed to Beth before looking somewhat accusingly toward Finn and asking him, "What is this baby doing here?' as if she was talking baby talk.

"First off: the baby's name is Beth. And to make a long story short: she's Puck's."

"Ah," Rachel seemed to understand.

"We don't know who Beth's mom is, but she left a note asking Puck to take care of his daughter."

"And where is the proud papa now?"

"The irresponsible prick forgot to leave a copy of his touring schedule and he's not answering his phone so your guess is as good as mine. Look Rachel: we need help. Kurt and I know nothing about babies and-"

"And you think that I do just because I'm a woman? I don't know anything about taking care of babies!"

"Maybe we could learn on the job."

Rachel's face seemed to convey the 'oh no you didn't' message. "You mean to tell me that you called me over here to help you take care of a baby? _That_ was the 'big emergency'?"

Brody cleared his throat. "Uh, Rachel, I hate to interrupt, but we gotta leave now if we wanna get there on time."

"Just a sec!" Rachel passed Beth to Finn. "Brody and I have to go now."

"Seriously?" Finn whispered to her as he watched Brody walk away. "You're going out with _that_ guy?"

"First off: we're just going to a movie. And it's not like you and I are official, Finn. You haven't told anyone—me included—whether or not I was your girlfriend."

"But _him_? The dancer with the good hair? Is this like some joke and he's actually gay?"

"We're leaving now," Rachel turned to leave. "Come on Brody, let's go."

"Rachel!" Finn (still dangling the baby in his arms) chased after Rachel. "Rachel, wait!"

"Goodbye Finn!"

"Rachel, I'm desperate! Kurt and I-" Finn's expression turned into disgust. "Aw man!" he held Beth further away from him. "She doodled on me!"

"She _what?_ " Rachel brought herself back into focus. "Never mind, I have to go!"

"Rachel, please!" too late, Rachel (and Brody) left with a door slam. "Dammit!" Beth made some sort of noise as she looked toward Finn. "Uncle Finn didn't say dammit!" Finn silently cursed himself for that. "He said…" a realization hit him, "…you probably don't even understand a word I'm saying anyway." He let out a long sigh. "Don't worry Beth; your dad said those guys are coming soon to get you."

"Not soon enough," a tired Kurt shuffled into the living room and plopped onto the sofa. "So what did you cancel tonight?"

"I had tickets for a boxing game. You?"

"Blind date with some guy from _Tinder_."

"Good call." Kurt waved this off. "You wanna help me give Beth her bath tonight?"

"Why not; it's not like we have anything better to do." Kurt struggled to get off the couch. "Did you remember to leave the baby powder in with her bath stuff?"

"It's in the hall closet."

"Are we bathing her in the hall? You're supposed to leave it with the bath stuff in the cabinet under the bathroom sink!"

"Sorry for not knowing baby bath etiquette Mr. Baby Expert…man." Amidst the tensed silence, Beth let out what sounded like a small giggle.

"Does she get pleasure from our misery or something? This kid is more than likely gonna grow up to be a future sociopath." He watched Beth smile a gummy smile at him. "An adorable future sociopath though."

"I can not wait for those guys to pick her up and then things will go back to normal!"

"Will they, Finn?" Kurt couldn't stop what was coming out of his mouth. "Can we really go on pretending like we have zero knowledge of what's happened the past few days?"

"Puck could."

"That's because Puck's an irresponsible jackass who has no regard for anyone but himself! He might not care about what happens to his daughter, but I do." Kurt's expression clearly conveyed the whole 'did I just say that out loud' message. "I'm just afraid of what will happen to her."

"I don't want anything bad to happen to her either; but are we really Beth's best option? We have to do what's best for her and…" Finn let out a sorrowful sounding sigh and continued with, "…and it's not us, Kurt."

"Maybe it could be." Kurt's mumble seemed to have the tone of someone having serious doubts.

"What?"

"Nothing," Kurt took Beth from Finn. "Let's just give her her bath and try to get _some_ sleep."

* * *

 **Aww, it looks like Kurt's starting to care. I don't really know why I opted for him to start coming around first, but I felt it seemed to work because Kurt was the one who first held her and bonded with her (despite Finn finding her).**

 **Sorry if this seems shorter; I'll try to make it up to you guys. Until then…**


	5. Mixed Up in a Mix-Up

**Merry Christmas! I have been working a lot lately and when I get days off, I still have stuff to do. I figured December 25** **th** **is probably the only day I'll have completely off w/ absolutely nowhere to go—not entirely true, but take what you get, right?**

 **Anyway: as a gift to you guys, here's another chapter.**

* * *

"Come on," Rick "the Stick" Nelson gestured for his bodyguard Cooter to follow him. "I think Karofsky said it was this one." Cooter just nodded. "Okay," Rick rang the bell, "let's hope we got it right this time."

"Coming!" someone on the other end responded before answering the door. "Can I help you?" Finn asked the two unfamiliar men.

"Is Puckerman here? He's got somethin' for us."

"Finally!" Finn craned his neck toward the hall. "Kurt, they're here!" He then turned his attention back to Rick and Cooter. "You guys are lucky; if you didn't show up by tomorrow; I would've called the cops."

Rick put his hands up in defense. "Whoa, hey, you don't-"

"And I don't know if you answer directly to 'Q', but you can tell her she's got a lot of nerve doing what she did."

" _Q_?"

"Because of her we haven't been able to work, or sleep, or...let's just say things have gotten messier since she dropped it off. There's crap everywhere."

"Is it damaged or-"

"I heard you refer to her as ' _it_ ' again," Kurt was heard saying as he made his way to the door carrying a diaper bag and a carseat with a baby in it. "Please take note that Beth's next bottle is in forty-five minutes and I've already prepared it for you in case of a long drive."

"Um…" Rick was kind of at a loss for words. When he turned to his bodyguard for help, Cooter simply shrugged. "…this is a baby."

"What was your first clue, Sherlock?" Finn rather bitingly remarked back. "Heads up: twenty minutes after she eats, she gets tired so put her to bed. She likes to be rocked to sleep too if that's of any help."

"And here," Kurt lifted something from the front pouch of the diaper back. "Here's some powdered milk."

Rick nodded at them. "Powdered milk, _right_ ," something about his tone didn't sit right with Kurt.

"Right."

"Okay so we'll take the powdered milk and get out of here."

"He put it in the front pouch of the bag with Beth's stuff," Finn pointed out.

Rick blinked in confusion. "You want us to take the baby too?"

That didn't exactly convince Kurt. " _Too_?"

"That was the whole point of you guys coming here," none of this seemed unusual to Finn. "Just remember the thing about the bottle okay," with that, Finn shut the door on them. "I don't know about you, but I need a nap."

"Something about this just doesn't seem right." Kurt contemplated what transpired. "I mean why focus on the _powdered milk_ of all things?"

"Kurt-"

"And why did they seem so confused when we gave her to them?"

"Can we please just enjoy the quiet now?"

"I just have this feeling that something's not right. I heard the way he said 'Q' to you; like he had no idea what you were talking about."

"Maybe because that's not the right letter."

"Finn-"

"Look: you've been like super tense these last few days." Finn reached for the mail on the coffee table. "Why don't you unwind with your latest _Vogue_ subscription? You've got the time to read it now."

Kurt pointed to the small, rectangular, blue box on the table. "Hey, what's that?"

"Dunno," Finn inspected the box. "It doesn't say who it's for."

"How long as that been there?"

"I think it arrived the same day as…" it was if something dawned on him. "…oh my God!"

"That is what those guys came here for!"

Finn sprang into action. "You're louder, see if you can get their attention from the window. I'll try to catch them!" He raced out of the apartment and down the stairs. Carrying the package, Finn ran as fast as he could down the various stairs taking them two at a time without accident. That is, until he got to the lobby. When he finally got off of stairs was when he fell…

…as did the contents of the mysterious package. "Oh my God." Putting two and two together, Finn figured the reason the guy was so interested in the powdered milk was because the guy thought it was code for the heroin that came in the package.

…

"Take her," Rick shoved the baby to Cooter. "I'm drivin'!"

"Hey Rick," Cooter carefully made his way to Rick, "this car ain't big enough for a baby."

"Set it on your lap."

"Isn't that illegal or something? I'm already on probation."

"Then put it in the trunk."

"I can't put a baby in the trunk!"

"She'll fit."

"But it'll feel bad on my conscience. It's not right to put a baby in a trunk like we do with those other guys who piss us off."

Rick groaned as he took the baby back. "It's not like we were gonna close the trunk or anything."

"HEY!" Finn had ran outside just as Rick was about to put the carseat in the trunk. "Hey, I need to take Beth back." He tried to take the carseat from Rick.

"What?"

"She's not what you came here for and I need to take her back," as the two men tugged on the seat, a blissfully ignorant Beth sat in the seat staring back at the guys as if trying to determine who would be feeding her next. Meanwhile, Cooter reached into the glove compartment for his gun ready to do his job.

This scene quickly alerted the attention of a nearby officer. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing," both Finn and Rick chorused as Cooter hid his gun.

The officer directed his attention to Rick. "You're not going to put that baby in that trunk are you?"

Rick feigned shock. "Officer, how could you think such a thing? Something like that would not look good on my conscience."

"And would also be illegal," Finn added to Rick with a somewhat accusing tone to him.

The officer pointed to Rick. "This your car?" Rick nodded. "Let me see your license and registration."

"What?" Rick tried not to panic. "Why?"

"'Cause you're double parked."

Rick let out a quick sigh of relief. "One second, Officer," he passed the carseat to Finn. "Here," he removed the diaper bag from his shoulder and gave it to Finn, "remember she needs her bottle in forty minutes." After that, he hurried into his car (grateful that the top was down) and sped off.

"HEY!" The officer then turned his attention to Finn. "FREEZE!" Finn tried to remain perfectly still as the cop approached him. "Let me see some ID."

"Um…well…see Officer, I don't exactly have my ID with me right now; I just came down from my apartment to get the baby." The cop raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Honest! I live in this building right here. I can go up, get my ID, feed the baby, and...I think that's all I gotta do actually."

"Lead the way."

"Oh! Oh, you wanna come with me?" the officer nodded. "Yeah, okay, sure; follow me." Finn led the policeman to his apartment. "And this is my apartment where I live with my roommate, Kurt." He was talking loud enough so Kurt could hear, but Kurt didn't come to the door right away. "With my roommate Kurt!"

"Finn!" Kurt hurried to the door. "Thank God you got her back!"

"I also brought back a policeman." Kurt tried not to look so nervous. "Kurt, this is Officer Tanaka and I have to show him my ID to prove that I'm not a criminal. Officer, could you wait here while Kurt helps me find my wallet?" Tanaka nodded. "Come on Kurt, let's find my wallet. I think it's in my bedroom somewhere away from the doorway."

"What's going on?" Kurt whispered when he and Finn (and Beth) were out of earshot.

"Drugs."

"Okay, what did you take?"

"No, that's what was in the package!" Finn took the blue box from his pocket. "Those guys got away and I have to prove I'm not involved."

"Holy crap," Kurt eyed the contents. "This has to be at least a thousand dollars in heroin!"

"And now you gotta hide it somewhere! Here," Finn passed the carseat to Kurt, "you should probably put her somewhere too."

"Couldn't you have waited until I put the heroin away before handing me the baby?"

"Not with the cop in the doorway wanting to see my ID!" Finn quickly retrieved his wallet. "Found it!" he called as he began taking out his ID. "I'm sorry for any misunderstanding, and I'm willing to cooperate fully in case there's anything wrong." When he made it to the door, there was someone else standing there. "Um…hello. Can I help you?"

The man flashed a badge at him. "Detective Sergeant Figgins: narcotics." Finn gulped. "I'd like to ask you a couple of questions."

…

"How did we get mixed up in this?" an anxious Kurt questioned himself as he looked for a place to hide the heroin. "I don't want it touching my stuff either." He frantically began looking around. "Maybe if I stash it in Puck's room." Kurt was distracted by Beth's sudden cry.

"Doesn't sound like she's asleep," an unfamiliar voice could be heard nearing Kurt's room.

On the verge of freaking out by this point, Kurt took Beth out of her carseat. "Please don't remember this," he quickly hid the drugs in Beth's diaper as his bedroom door opened. "Hello Finn. Hello…new person."

"Kurt, this is Detective Sergeant Figgins," Finn introduced. " _Narcotics_." He made sure to remember that part. "Detective, this is my other roommate and stepbrother Kurt Hummel."

"Aww," Figgins' hard exterior melted when he saw Beth, "she is a cutie." He extended his arms out. "May I hold her?"

"Well…" Kurt had to find a way to tell law enforcement 'no', "…you see Detective, she just-"

"It's okay, Kurt." Finn took Beth from Kurt and passed her to Figgins much to Kurt's visible horror. "He's not gonna hurt her; he is a _police officer_ after all." As Figgins cooed over the baby, Kurt burst out into a game of charades much to Finn's confusion. After mouthing 'what' to Kurt, Kurt then gestured how he hid the drugs in the diaper. "What?" that time it was louder and got the officer's attention. "I didn't hear you, Officer."

"I was not talking to you," Figgins told him as he adjusted his hold on Beth. "Oh. It appears it is time for a change of diaper."

"I'll do it!" Kurt immediately took Beth from him. "Any time I get to spend with Beth is precious; particularly for the formative years." He rushed back into his bedroom.

"Is that one her father?"

Finn shook his head. "No, her father is our other roommate. He's out of town right now and we have been trying to get a hold of him."

"Out of town?"

"Yeah, his band's touring as an opening act for some other band; I really didn't pay attention."

Figgins removed a picture from his pocket. "Do you recognize this gentleman?"

Finn squinted to get a good look. "Dave Karofsky?" Figgins nodded. "I kinda know him, but he's more of an acquaintance."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"He came to my birthday about a week ago. Is something wrong?"

"We believe Mr. Karofsky is involved in an illegal drug smuggling ring. Heroin." Finn tried not to go pale. "Whether or not his involvement is voluntary or involuntary is unknown, but he could be a very important asset to the narcotics division."

"I don't know him. He's more a friend of Puck's, but I don't think Puck knows anything about Karofsky being involved or not involved with drugs."

"Well when your friend gets back into town, I would really like to have a talk with him."

"You and me both."

Figgins made some sort of judgmental noise. "Yes, well, I will see myself out. This has been a very illuminating conversation, Mr. Hudson; keep in touch," with that, Figgins left.

Kurt made sure the coast was clear before coming out. "You really don't think Puck knows anything about this?"

"Puck could never keep a secret that huge," Finn noted. "Besides, he never does hard drugs. Weed, sure; I caught him smoking that once or twice, but _heroin_? Puck's too smart to smoke that stuff."

"Well he's not _that_ smart."

"What are we gonna do about this? Thanks to Puck we're in trouble with the drug cops."

"And thanks to Puck, we're stuck raising his kid."

"What?"

"That message Puck left wasn't about Beth. This 'Q' person just abandoned Beth at our door the same day the package of drugs showed up at our apartment."

"I still don't think that was a 'Q'."

"Finn, you do realize that no one is coming for Beth."

"I do now!" Finn let out a disbelieved breath. "What are we supposed to do? Should we call the cops or something?"

"Going to the cops is the _last_ thing for us to do right now."

"So we're stuck with her?"

"At least until Puck comes back and decides what to do. He is her legal father, any major decisions about Beth rests with him."

"And how exactly are we supposed to go on with _our_ lives? I've got to be at training in an hour."

"Well you have to call in sick because I have that important interview!"

"So now what are we supposed to do?"

The sudden knocking on the door startled the guys. "Guys!" their fears quickly dissolved when they realized it was Mercedes. This was confirmed after they sprinted to the door and practically tore it open. "Ya'll know anything about the cops showing up at our apartment?" Finn and Kurt shared glances with each other, which sort of creeped Mercedes out. "Is everything alright with you guys or am I gonna end up as a segment on _Dateline_?"

"Mercedes," Kurt smiled at his gal pal, "we're so happy to see you."

Mercedes let out an agitated (yet still relieved) sigh. "Okay, what do you want now?"

* * *

 **I struggled with this chapter a little, but decided it was best to ultimately end there. I also tried to make it longer as both a present and a way to make up for the last chapter being so short. I hope I didn't disappoint too much.**

 **Anywho, Merry Xmas everyone!**


	6. Homecomings

**Work? Check. Illness? Check. Lack of free time? Check. Lack of motivation? Check. Sorry? Yes.**

 **Now that the checklist of excuses is done, let's get back into this, shall we?**

* * *

Sam Evans, one of Finn's team members, reluctantly entered their coach's office. "You wanted to see me?"

Beiste nodded. "Sit down." Sam did so. "I just got a very interesting phone call from Detective Figgins of Narcotics." This made Sam nervous. "Relax, you didn't do anything," Sam blew out a sigh of relief, "but I need you to do something for them."

"Um…yeah, I guess; what do I have to do?"

"I need you to watch over Hudson."

"Finn Hudson? Narcotics wants me to spy on _Finn Hudson_?"

"I was just as surprised as you are. They think Finn may have gotten involved with some known drug dealers and they need to keep a close eye on him."

"Why do you want me to do that?"

"Of everyone else on the team, you two seem to have a decent rapport with one another." Sam shot Beiste a puzzled look. "You're the teammate he's closest to."

"I am?" A nod from Beiste. "That's not really saying much, is it?" A head shake from Beiste. "I guess I could try it. How long do I have to do this?" A shrug from Beiste. "Well that's reassuring."

"I guess it's until Finn leads the cops to the drug dealers. Hopefully, it won't take long. I called Hudson to ask him where the hell he was and he's on his way. So your second job starts the second Hudson gets his ass here. And when you spy on him: try not to look so damn suspicious."

…

Following his meeting, Kurt was at his desk touching up on some designs when his phone rang. "This is Kurt Hummel speaking."

" _Hey Kurt_ ," Finn began, " _you know that Sam Evans guy on my team_?"

"That blonde guy who had the Beiber hairstyle?"

" _Yeah; um…is he gay_?"

"You know I thought he was at first; that seemed like the direction he was going in, but suddenly it was like 'bam, hetero'. Plus I think he's got a thing for Mercedes. Why did you ask me that?"

" _I kinda got the feeling that he keeps watching me. I swear he followed me into the bathroom earlier_."

"You know something," Kurt quickly looked around, "I've been having that same feeling. Today Izzy introduces us to some new intern and I swear this intern keeps staring at me. She's sitting a few desks away pretending to read last month's issue of _People_ magazine."

" _Remember when you brought up Mercedes a few seconds ago_?"

"Seeing as it was only a few seconds ago: yes."

" _Well I tried calling her to check on Beth_ -"

"Aww," Kurt swooned, "look who cares."

"- _but Mercedes wasn't answering_."

"She wasn't?"

" _I even tried the house phone that we never use_."

"You don't think something happened, do you?"

" _Should I call our apartment building or the cops or that MacGyver guy_?"

"What?"

" _He could easily break into our house without a key and…you can clearly tell that I'm not really thinking rationally right now_."

"When you hurry back to the apartment, try not to get another speeding ticket." Kurt quickly slammed the phone down and raced out of the building with the intern following behind at an appropriate distance.

…

The elevator had barely opened when an anxious Finn hurried out of it and sprinted to the apartment. His heart momentarily stopped when he noticed the door was slightly ajar. "Oh my God," he practically threw the door open. "Oh my God," the sight he came across was a ransacked apartment, walls damaged, items destroyed, and a tied up, blindfolded, and gagged Mercedes. "Mercedes," Finn removed the blindfold from her eyes and gag from her mouth. "What happened?"

"Some guys came here and trashed the place," she quickly answered.

"Where's Beth? Did they take her?"

"I don't know; I couldn't see anything!"

"You could hear, couldn't you?"

"I heard somethin' about drugs! What in the hell is going on?"

Finn was distracted by a faint sound in the background. Instantly, he knew the sound was Beth's crying. He followed it as fast as he could until he came to the bathroom closet. Yanking open the closet door, he was relieved to find Beth lying on the closet floor atop a series of blankets. Given how close her head was to the closet wall, Finn figured she must have hit her head against it and started crying. "Thank God," Finn scooped her up in his arms and tried to soothe her. "It's okay; you're okay."

"Finn!" Kurt called to his stepbrother before running into the bathroom carrying a piece of paper.

"She's okay," Finn assured. "She probably hit her head against the wall, but it could have been worse."

"A lot worse," Kurt passed Finn the paper. "Apparently _this_ was just a warning."

Finn read over the message, "' _Next time we take the baby_ '."

"Those guys mean business, Finn."

"What are we supposed to do, Kurt?"

"How 'bout untying the black woman in your living room!" Mercedes answered for them.

…

"I'm sorry I don't have any appropriate stories to read to a baby," Finn apologized as he settled Beth and her bassinet in his room. "I'd read you something from that magazine special honoring those we lost in 2016, but I think you're too young to understand the concept of death. It's also probably not a good idea after what happened today." He took the magazine from his shelf. "Maybe if I used an innocent, storytelling tone and tell you about how awesome David Bowie was. It's not like you'd actually understand." Beth let out a massive yawn. "Seems like you're tired anyway." Finn gingerly laid her in the bassinet. "Oh, I wanted to give you this," Finn took a stuffed monkey from his shelf. "It's a dollar store rip-off of Curious George, but it's still cute and monkeys are awesome. I was gonna give it to Rachel, but I think we're seeing other people. You'll probably like it better anyway." He set it into her bassinet and watched as Beth closed her eyes and settled into slumber. "One thing's for sure," he sat on the edge of his bed and continued watching the baby, "we're not letting you out of our sight ever again. I promise we'll keep you safe." Finn yawned and got more comfortable on his bed, all the while keeping an eye on the bassinet. "Kurt would probably know a good song for the occasion to sing but if he sang it'd probably just put me to…" Finn's snoring sort of got the point across.

As it got later, everyone fell asleep. It would have been a peaceful night if someone didn't open the front door around one in the morning, alerting Finn to their presence. "Oh my God," Finn tried not to panic as he heard the door slowly shut (as if whoever snuck in wanted everyone to stay sleeping). Cautiously getting out of bed, Finn tiptoed toward the front of the apartment where a shadowy looking figure was tossing a jacket on the floor—or so it seemed, it was too dark to be certain. Remembering his basketball was in the hall closet, Finn went to retrieve it. Once he had the ball, Finn hurled it at the intruder. After letting out a (clearly masculine) scream, the intruder doubled over. This gave Finn the opportunity to jump the guy.

"What the hell?" the intruder cried out as Finn tackled him to the ground. "What are you doing?" Alerted by the commotion, Kurt hurried into the living room and turned the light on. With the light shed on the scene, it soon became clear that the guy Finn had jumped was Puck. "It's me, Puck!"

"Puck?" Finn backed off his friend.

"Irresponsible jackass!" this time, Kurt jumped Puck—but given the fact that Kurt wasn't as adapt in fighting, Puck was able to get away easily.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Puck questioned.

"We should be asking you the same thing!"

"Why are you back so soon?" Finn inquired.

Puck quickly adjusted his mussed up mohawk. "The lead singer of the headlining band got laryngitis…or tonsillitis…appendicitis or…some kind of 'itis'. We had to cancel."

"Good!" Kurt took pleasure in Puck's misfortune.

"What's wrong with you this time, Hummel? And what happened to this place? Was there some rockin' party I missed? What's got you guys so uptight?" Beth's crying seemed to be on cue.

"Shit!" both Finn and Kurt lamented.

"Someone leave a baby here?"

"You tell us," Finn pulled a confused Puck into his bedroom. "The same morning your friend's 'package' is supposed to come, I find a baby at our front door with a note saying she's yours."

"My what?"

"Oh and that 'package' that came: you know what it had in it? Heroin!"

"Whoa, hey, I had no idea-"

"So not only do we have narcs camping out somewhere in this apartment building, but Kurt and I have been taking care of _your_ daughter."

"I had no idea what was in Karofsky's package and I sure as hell don't know anything about a baby."

Kurt came into the room with a wrinkled piece of paper. "Maybe this will explain it."

Puck snatched the paper and read over the message. "Shit."

"And watch the language."

"Blah, blah, blah, Q."

"Oh, so it is a 'Q'?"

"Q?" Puck thought back to this. He suddenly snapped his fingers when he remembered. "Yeah, you guys never met her. She was the girl who played my love interest in that music video. We ended up sleeping together, but the next morning she was gone." He smirked at that. "Quinn Fabray: the one that got away."

"Well now she kinda came back," by this point, Finn was holding Beth. "Noah Puckerman: meet your daughter," he passed Beth to her father. "This is Beth."

"Uh…" Puck clearly didn't know how to hold a baby, "…what am I supposed to do with it?"

" _Her_ , Puck. We have put our lives on hold taking care of her. Now it's time to own up to your responsibility and take care of your child."

"I don't know how to take care of a baby!" Puck protested.

"And you think we did? This is one of those instances where you learn on the job."

"If you'll excuse me," Kurt smoothed out his bathrobe. "I am going to retire to my boudoir for the rest of the night."

"Yeah, good night, Puck."

Beth began to fuss, causing Puck to panic. "Wh—what's wrong with her? Why is she making that noise?"

"Good night, Puck."

"And why does she smell?"

Kurt smugly answered back, "Because she made you a doodle."

"A _what_?"

"Good luck, Puck." Kurt caught up with Finn. "Oh I'm going to enjoy watching him suffer."

"You think we should help him?" Finn asked. The brothers turned their heads toward the living room, listened to Puck's, "Oh, eww!", and then looked back at each other and decided,

"Nah."

* * *

 **Seriously, nothing to say. I just wanted to get another chapter uploaded. Thanks again for being patient.**


	7. Grandmother Knows Best

**Busy, busy, busy—although on the 8th I was less busy and partook in my Xmas present w/ my mom & sis by seeing **_**Beautiful: the Carole King Musical**_ **(10/10 would recommend)—so I haven't really been able to be on any computer to work on this. I would apologize again, but you know the main reason is my job and stupid, adult life keeping me from updating this fic/anything.**

 **So let me just make up for it with another chapter.**

* * *

"Well excuse the hell out of me," Puck slammed the house phone down.

Trying to keep his eyes on his magazine, Kurt was also trying not to revel in Puck's misfortune. "I take it we didn't get a hold of Karofsky?"

"I can't remember which numbers I got mixed up. This would be so much easier if I had my friggin phone; but I don't remember what I did with it."

"This is why I tell you guys to write down all your phone numbers and invest in a good address book."

"Straight dudes don't really do address books."

"How about calling the operator?"

"How's a doctor going to help me?"

"Oh my God," Kurt muttered to himself. "A _phone_ operator; it's a free phone service help. You use it by pushing the zero; that's the button with the number that looks like the 'O'."

"I know what it is." Puck dialed for the operator. "Yeah, hey you think you can help me find someone? I'm trying to get a hold of Dave Karofsky…how the hell would I know any of that crap…wait, can you help me find a Quinn Fabray? Blonde hair, hazel eyes, hot bod, got into the acting program at some snooty college…I think she said something about her mom living in Lima, Ohio if that helps…do I need to know that stuff…all I know is she's got a mom in Lima, Ohio how difficult is that…nine different Fabrays in the Lima area?" Puck let out an aggravated sigh. "Well thanks for nothing, lady." He hung up the phone. "Thanks for the tip Hummel, but that operator chick didn't help."

"Physical description isn't really beneficial over the phone, Puck." Kurt turned the page. "Though I am impressed with what you remembered about your—what's that term you'd use… _baby mama_ ," Kurt made a disgusted face. "Oh, ew, that sounded terrible coming from my mouth." Puck sniggered at that. "To be fair: I could have guessed this Quinn Fabray character was blonde. Beth clearly takes after her mother. If that letter didn't point blank say you were Beth's father, I wouldn't have believed it."

Puck shrugged. "I dunno, I think it's got my nose or something."

Kurt growled in irritation as he set his magazine down. " _She_ , Puck; Beth is a living, breathing person—also your child—not an 'it'."

"Okay," Finn made his way into the living room, "I managed to get Beth down for a nap. I can't say how long it will last, but at least she's sleeping. Kurt, if you need a ride, we gotta go now. Puck, when Beth wakes up, remember to give her a bottle."

"Also remember there's over a thousand dollars' worth of heroin hiding in the diaper pail."

"That's also kinda important."

Puck gave some sort of scoff as if the whole thing was no big deal. "You guys are acting like you don't trust me."

"We don't," both Finn and Kurt agreed.

"However, Beth is your child and therefore _your_ responsibility," Kurt continued. "Taking care of your daughter is something you're going to have to get used to doing."

"We had no idea what we were doing when we started," Finn added.

"And if you get into any trouble, I left ours and any other emergency numbers on the fridge."

"We figured you'd want a sandwich soon and left the numbers where you'd see 'em."

"Sometimes you can be so predictable."

"Except for the whole baby on the doorstep thing."

"I still don't think we can trust you alone, but with everyone else having lives, Finn and I have no babysitting options."

"I dunno Kurt, I have faith in him."

"That makes one of us."

"Trust me," Puck assured, "I can handle this."

…

Puck couldn't handle it. No sooner had Finn and Kurt left did Beth wake up screaming. Almost an hour later, her needs still hadn't been satisfied.

"Dammit!" Puck slammed the house phone down repeatedly after another failed attempt to reach his roommates. Biting his lip in contemplation, he dialed the only phone number he knew by heart confident that _this_ was the person who knew what to do. Not even thirty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. After opening it, Puck could finally breathe a sigh of relief. "Hi, Mom."

"Well Noah," Mrs. Puckerman began, "I can't say that I'm surprised." Her son just looked away in shame. "Where's my granddaughter?"

"My room."

"The apartment is quiet. I thought you said she wouldn't stop screaming."

"She wouldn't, so I put her in front of the TV."

"Why?"

"'Cause it used to shut me up."

"So you assumed it would do the same for your daughter?"

"Do you hear screaming?"

"Honestly, Noah," once his mother entered his room, her hardness melted away at the sight of Beth. "Oh, isn't she precious?" Puck tried not to cringe as his mother cooed over her granddaughter, but Beth didn't seem to mind being the center of attention. "She has your smile." For some reason, that resulted in a smile from Puck. "Do you know who I am; I'm your grandmother. Yes, I am. And you are just the cutest little thing. Yes you are." Mrs. Puckerman turned off the TV and scooped up her grandchild. "You are just the prettiest little girl in the whole, wide world."

"How'd you pick her up like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like a pro or something."

"I pick her up like a grandmother. I didn't do anything special. I have experience you know."

"Yeah, that's kinda why I called."

"I knew you'd want something from me."

"You did?"

His mother nodded. "I know you, Noah. Sometimes you can be very predictable. Although I sincerely hope you didn't name your daughter after _Jack Daniels_ because that's too stupid even for you."

"Her name's Beth."

"Beth." Mrs. Puckerman looked over her granddaughter. "It suits her, I suppose. Is it short for Elizabeth?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Her mother named her."

"And where is her mother? Do you even remember which of your numerous conquests it was?"

"I couldn't forget Quinn if I tried."

"Then where is the unforgettable Quinn?"

"I don't know. She wasn't there the morning after and I haven't seen or heard from her since. She dropped Beth off at our door with a note when I was gone." Puck went to his dresser to fetch his mother the note, which she read over as she held her granddaughter. "Quinn couldn't really take care of Beth and honestly, neither can I."

"I assume you want me to take care of her."

"Please and thank you."

"Noah-"

"I don't know what to do Mom. You and I both know I'm not cut out for this parenting thing."

"Who says?"

"I'm a screw-up; I'm not parent material."

"Your father—may he rot in Hell—was a screw-up."

"Ma, he's still alive."

"He's dead to me." Puck couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at that. "While I regret sleeping with that man, I never regret you or your sister. I've always wanted what's best for my children and it's clear to me that you, unlike your sperm donor, have your own child's best interests at heart."

"I'm not what's best for her, Mom."

"You are," his mother passed his daughter to him, "you just don't know it yet. So I'm not going to do a damn thing." Mrs. Puckerman quickly gasped and looked to Beth. "Grandma's sorry she said a bad word."

"It's not like she understands what you're saying."

Puck's mother sighed. "I get the feeling she's going to be the kid at daycare with the pottymouth, much like her daddy was."

"You really think I can do this dad thing?"

"Yes, I really do. You're going to be a fine father, Noah. You'll be amazed at how well you do when you're taking care of someone besides yourself—even your sister said you were her favorite babysitter."

"Yeah, but she wasn't exactly a baby and easier to bribe."

"Have a little more faith in yourself." She adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder. "And clean this place up; if not for me, then for my granddaughter."

"Yes, Mother."

"Now give me a kiss."

"Mom!"

"Noah!" With an agitated moan, Noah gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. "Beth," Mrs. Puckerman looked toward Beth, "give Grandma a kiss," she kissed her granddaughter before heading off. "And I mean it when I say clean this place up!"

The sound of the door shutting indicated Puck's mom had left. "Well," Puck held Beth up to make eye contact with her, "I guess you're stuck with me kid." Beth gurgled some sort of noise as if she was responding. "Yeah, I know; but I promise I'll try not to screw up your life if you promise to sleep through the night. Deal?" Beth just stared at him. "Can I take that as a yes?" The baby let out a massive yawn. "Guess not." She smiled at him, that same goofy smile that he had seen on his own face. With a similar smile of his own, Puck brought his daughter to his chest and began smoothing her back. "You and me, kid: we're gonna be alright."

* * *

 **I wish we could have seen more of Beth w/ her parents. Thank goodness for fanfics though. Hope I did some justice to Puck's unnamed mother (seriously no one in his family except his Nana Connie has a name). Also, I snuck in a little _Carole King Musical_ reference but I doubt anyone would notice/care.**

 **Anywho, more to come eventually. But because you've been so patient, I will bring back Rachel and Mercedes for the next chapter so there's that to look forward to.**


	8. Shower the People You Love

**Same excuses; moving on…**

* * *

"Look at me," Kurt strutted into the living room and did his "model twirl" to show off his snappy looking outfit, "all dressed up with somewhere to go, for a change." His expression toward Finn changed. "Please tell me that's not what you're wearing to the theatre."

Finn sucked in air through his teeth. "About that theatre thing…I'm not going."

"Says the man who _paid_ for these tickets."

"When Rachel and I were still together."

"Define 'together'. I mean were you two ever really officially boyfriend-girlfriend?"

"I just feel things are still awkward between me and Rachel."

"Whatever's going on with you and Rachel needs to be resolved. Admittedly, this is not a one-step process. Part of this involves you and Rachel being in a social setting together. But the first part involved me sending Mercedes in to do the dirty work."

Finn became confused. "I don't get it: what kind of work could Mercedes have done with her? Rachel doesn't like to get dirty…or work."

Puck gestured to the baby sitting in the nearby playpen. "And if this thing with Rachel and Mercedes is going where I want it to be going, I'd rather you share the dirty details away from my kid."

An exasperated Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose. "I meant I had Mercedes ask Rachel what was up with her and that good-haired dancer guy. Evidently it was just one trip to the movies as friends and Rachel is currently _not_ seeing anyone," Kurt stressed out the word 'not' as he directed his attention to you. "According to Mercedes, she still misses you."

"Mercedes misses him?"

"Could you kindly _not_ talk, Puck?" Kurt stressed that word again. "Anyway Finn, this is your chance to get in good with Rachel again. Rachel misses you, you clearly miss Rachel, and you paid for these tickets because _she_ wanted to see this show."

"And then you and Mercedes found out before I bought them and begged to go," Finn added. "Even if Rachel goes, you and Mercedes will be there too."

"So why don't we all be there as friends? Build up the friendship aspect with Rachel and then take it slow."

"I dunno, Kurt."

"If necessary, Mercedes and I will back off and give you two some room. But is there any point in backing out of something you paid a little over a thousand dollars for?"

Finn shrugged. "I guess I'll go," he then got up to go change.

"And don't help yourself to a snack because we're gonna eat on the way home."

"But this thing starts at eight! If it lasts two hours, I'm not gonna be able to eat until ten."

"You can if it's _Breadstix_."

"Wait!" Puck instantly rose in a slight panic, "you guys aren't coming back til ten?"

"It'll probably be later than that with the whole 'going out to eat after the show' part I just mentioned."

"Why are you getting all upset over that?" Finn questioned. "We'll get you some breadsticks or somethin' cheap."

Puck nervously shoved his hands in his pockets. "I haven't been alone with the kid for more than a couple of hours and you guys are gonna be gone pretty much the whole night."

"Relax Puck, you'll be fine."

"I've never babysat her, or any baby, _that_ long."

"Well, you're not babysitting; you're taking care of your daughter," Finn had a point there.

"And should anything happen, all of the important numbers are still on the fridge," Kurt reminded him.

"I think after all we've done taking care of _your_ kid, you owe Kurt and I at least one night to do something we want to do…even though I don't really _want_ to go see the show."

"You do _want_ to see Rachel again, right? One night of theatre isn't going to kill you and one night alone with her father hopefully won't kill Beth."

"Hey!" Puck took offense to that.

"It's just one night."

"One night where we don't have to talk about Beth," Finn added.

…

Finn continued on about Beth. "But it wasn't like the time when she-"

"Finn," Kurt interrupted, "how's that whole 'not talking about Beth' plan working out?"

"Finn and I were having a conversation," Rachel rather bitingly replied back. "I happen to like him talking about Beth."

"They are kinda cute stories," Mercedes added.

"Who did you get to babysit tonight?"

"Puck," Finn's response garnered laughing from the girls…

…until they realized he was being serious. "Puck?"

"He is Beth's father."

"You're leaving a helpless little baby in the care of _Noah Puckerman_?"

"We trust him."

"Some more than others," Kurt muttered.

"Plus he has to step up and care for his kid. And seriously, you guys worry too much: they'll be fine."

…

Puck dangled his daughter a few feet away as he carried her into his room. "You couldn't get any of that nasty baby food in your mouth?" He set her in a nearby bassinet. "Not gonna lie: that gunk you spit up looks more appetizing than the food. So I don't blame you for not wanting to eat it." He inspected his clothing, and then ran his fingers through his mohawk to discover remnants of baby food had gotten in his hair as well. "How does that even-" did Beth let out some sort of giggle at that. "Okay, you're getting a bath." Puck suddenly froze in a panic, "Am I even supposed to give you a bath? Couldn't you like drown or something?" Beth responded with some sort of noise. "I think a shower might be safer…but you can't exactly stand on your own yet," another noise from Beth. "I kinda need a shower too; so maybe we can kill two birds with one stone and shower together." A thought occurred. "Although seeing their dad's junk might scar a kid for life," he quickly began digging through his top dresser drawer for his swim trunks. "This parenting thing's made me so much smarter."

…

Kurt angrily pushed the 'end' button on his cell phone. "He's not answering his new phone or the house phone."

Mercedes shrugged. "Maybe he fell asleep."

"When he's supposed to be watching Beth?"

"Plus there's no way he could fall asleep if Beth was awake," Finn felt the need to add as he lowered his phone. "When Beth's awake, no one sleeps." Finn gasped. "Maybe something happened and they're at the hospital."

"Wouldn't Puck have called if that was the case?" Rachel inquired. The two brothers shared a look before checking their cell phones again. "I'm telling you: you guys are blowing this out of proportion. You said so yourself: Puck is perfectly capable of taking care of his own daughter."

"To be fair, Finn said that," Mercedes reminded.

"True, but Finn does know Puck best and if Finn put his faith in Puck then-"

"We have to go," Finn gave Rachel a quick kiss before racing out.

"Sing us a song from the second act," Kurt hollered at the girls as he chased after Finn.

…

" _What can make me feel this way?_ " Puck was serenading to Beth as they came out of the bathroom, " _My girl. My girl. Talkin' bout my girl."_

"PUCK!" Finn could be heard screaming even before bursting into the apartment.

"What up, bro?" Puck casually greeted as Finn ran over to him with Kurt trailing behind. "I thought the show ended around ten."

"What the hell, man?"

"Dude, language."

"Where were you?" Kurt questioned. "And why are you wet?"

"Shower and shower."

"Did you take the baby in the shower with you?"

Puck smirked. "I get it: you guys were worried and ditched the show."

"Kurt brings up a valid point though," Finn told him. "You can't take a baby in the shower!" Finn's face conveyed that he was considering this thought. "Can you?"

"Relax, I googled it right after I put on my trunks. You just gotta do certain things to accommodate for the baby, but it's cool. I think she actually liked it. And apparently, babies can take swim classes so it's not a crime to get their whole body wet."

"That's why you didn't answer your phone! Man, we must've called you like fifty times."

"I can't exactly hear a phone ringing in the shower, can I?"

…

"All set," the electrician called before leaving the bathroom. "I have to say I've never installed a phone in the shower before."

Kurt gave a nonchalant type of shrug. "We're expecting an important phone call; we have to be able to hear the phone ring."

* * *

 **Ended it there because the next scene goes on an entirely different topic/tone. I also tried to keep it at a decent length—not too long, not too short—so I hope I managed to do that as well.**

 **I can't promise I'll update faster, but I will update. Being an adult and doing adult things sucks folks, but as an adult, I gotta do 'em.**


	9. Busting with Amateurs

**So…things have happened. In addition to working (a few little extra hours here and there and I've even gotten some all-night shifts), my family got out of our hellish living situation and are doing our best to keep afloat so that nothing like that EVER happens again. I've been a little more social too (gasp!). I say this because when I do this fic, I have the movie playing so I get scenes/dialogue/character right and I haven't been able to find the time even on my [very rare] days off. Unfortunately, there's also been the creative slump and lack of motivation for anything really. You loyal followers deserve a proper explanation and apology, and aside from a genuinely written "I'm sorry", I'm afraid this is all I can give you…**

… **but I hope two _new_ chapters in one day makes up for it.**

* * *

"So what, are you guys official now?" Puck was having a "guy chat" with Finn as they entered the apartment following a trip to the grocery store.

"It's kinda hard to define me and Rachel; but I think we are despite everything that's happened," Finn answered back. "And I wanna show her that I still love her, 'cause I do."

"Yeah, but takin' her to _the opera_? I wouldn't even subject my own daughter to that kind of torture."

"You would if you really, really love her and she really, really wanted to go."

"And that brings me back to not having Rachel as Beth's female influence. I don't think Rachel's the best example of a girl I want hangin' around Beth. If I'm being honest: Hummel's a better lady role model."

"Dude! Quit talkin' about my stepbrother like he's a girl."

"Don't deny that he's the most positive feminine influence for Beth."

Finn pondered this and gave a sort of agreed shrug before heading to their mail slot. Going through various envelopes as Puck rambled in the background about something, the last item amidst the mail was an envelope with a newspaper clipping attached.

 _Police Believe Near-Fatal Mugging to be Drug Related_

Finn quickly skimmed through the article. "Oh my God," without so much as a warning (and leaving a confused Puck behind), Finn hurried up the flights of stairs to his apartment where Kurt was babysitting for the day. "Kurt!" Finn ran over to him and handed him the newspaper.

"Why do you have this?" Kurt questioned. "Who reads newspapers anymore?"

"You might wanna read that one."

Kurt did. " _Former football player and up-and-coming sports agent David Karofsky was the victim of what appeared to be a random mugging that left him in critical condition. Police now suspect that Karofsky was targeted and that the motive behind his attack was drug related."_ Kurt's hands shook after reading that. "Oh, this is not good."

"That article was with this envelope." Finn passed Kurt the envelope as Puck entered the apartment. As Puck was about to question what the hell was going on, his roommates shushed him.

Kurt opened the envelope to discover its contents were a flip phone and a brief message with the warning, "Don't let this happen to you" written on it. Turning the warning over, Kurt found some instructions. "They want us to use that phone to call this number."

"Guys," Puck's eyes darted between the two stepbrothers. "What's going on?"

"Your friend Karofsky was in a little 'accident'," of course Kurt used a sarcastic emphasis on the last word as he handed the article to Puck. "No doubt this has everything to do with the package of heroin we received on his behalf."

"I told you I had no idea what was in that package."

"And we believe you," Finn assured him, "but we've had enough of this." Finn took the phone from Kurt and dialed the number. "Let me handle this."

Kurt and Puck exchanged nervous glances. "Um, Bro-"

"Shh!"

A visibly nervous Kurt tried to talk next. He got as far as, "Finn, I think-" before he was promptly shushed.

Still, Finn couldn't help but fidget as he waited for someone on the other end to answer. "Hello…yeah…yeah, we got your message…nah-uh, if we're gonna do this, we're gonna this in territory unfamiliar to _both_ of us…I may have a place in mind," Finn listed off a place along with, "…it's probably a good idea to do it my way because I'm the guy with the stuff…now that that's settled, be there tomorrow night at 10:30 or we flush the stuff down the toilet; and don't even think about bringing any weapons or backup or we'll all see somethin' bad happen to the stash," Finn then hung up and let out a breath he seemed to be holding in. "Oh my God, I can't believe I did that."

"Well there's no way you're doing this alone," Puck vowed. "We all got mixed into this, and we're all gonna get mixed out." The stepbrothers flashed him odd looks. "Is that not the way you use that phrase?"

Following an eye roll, Kurt added, "So what place did you have in mind, Finn?"

"It's a construction site Sam does part time work at," Finn explained. "Sometimes he gets out early to be to work by five, and they close by ten."

"And you know for a fact they work there tomorrow until ten?"

"Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday."

"Tomorrow is one of those days right?" Puck inquired.

"Ye-ah."

"Just checkin'."

…

"Ugh," Kurt hung up his phone, "does _everyone_ have to have plans on a Saturday?"

"Any luck finding a babysitter?" Finn inquired.

"Everyone has a life tonight; so, no, I couldn't get a babysitter."

"We can't exactly bring Beth with us."

"What other choice do we have?" Puck answered back with his own question.

"We just won't bring Puck with us when we confront those guys," Kurt decided. "He'll have to wait by the car with Beth."

"But what if things do get violent?" Finn felt the need to ask.

"Then I can lock Beth in the car and help fight them off," Puck suggested. "No one would be able to get in without the keys and she'd be in her carseat."

"With him being by the car, he can also be useful at keeping watch," Kurt added.

"And if I can't make it time, Hummel will have video proof of them assaulting you and we could sue or something."

"How reassuring," Finn grumbled.

"We shouldn't need to resort to any violence," Kurt attempted to assure his stepbrother. 'You told them if they wanted their stuff not to bring weapons. Just do it like we planned: give them the stuff and get them to confess on hidden camera. If we make it convincing enough, hopefully we'll get them to say that we had nothing to do with this."

Puck, who had been staring out the window, noticed something particular from across their apartment; something that had been there since the night before. "Does part of our plan involve stalker cops?"

Finn gasped in remembrance. "That's right; Officer Figgins has narcs watching us."

"So I don't think I'd be waiting by your car, Finn."

"Gentleman," Kurt began, "are we forgetting that we're in the greatest city in the world?"

"Vegas?"

"Would it kill you to see _one_ Broadway musical?"

"How can it be Vegas if we're in New York?" Finn sincerely asked.

"I was referring to New York, Finn! We're in New York City where people hardly own their own mode of transportation."

"So how do they get around?"

"They get a cab of course."

…

"Hey, we got somethin'," one undercover officer gestured to a taxi pulling up in front of the apartment building. The two watched from their distance as a pregnant woman in a large coat and carrying a large purse came out of the apartment and got into the taxi.

"False alarm," the other cop went back to eating his doughnut. "Our perps got their own car anyway."

"Did something seem kinda off about that pregnant lady to you?"

"I'm not one to judge on appearances, but I give brownie points to the poor loser who knocked that creature up." Another taxi pulled up to the apartment and the next people to exit were the suspects. "Our boys are back." They watched as Finn and Kurt got into the taxi. "Crap!" the one cop threw his doughnut aside.

"I thought you said they had their own car?" the other one questioned as he scrambled to get into the car.

"I say a lot of things," the cop who was driving started the car and followed the taxi. They continued to tail their suspects until the taxi came to a sudden stop.

"Wait, what's going on, why are they stopping?"

The back doors to the front taxi burst open and Finn and Kurt quickly got out of the cab. "Because they're gonna make a break for it!"

"FREEZE!"

The men ignored the undercover cops and hurried into another taxi that had been conveniently waiting for them…

…and had sped off before the cops could reach them.

"Dammit!" doughnut cop stamped his foot.

The other cop tried not to cringe in embarrassment, "We are so fired."

…

"We lost 'em!" Finn cheered as they drove off toward their designation.

"Can I take this stupid disguise off now?" the pregnant woman from earlier questioned.

"Go ahead, Puck."

Puck ripped off his curly, blonde wig before carefully taking off the coat in the crowded backseat. Under the giant coat, Beth was in a baby carrier sucking on her fingers in boredom. "I hope Beth never remembers seeing me dressed like Lola."

"Lola?"

"I told him it might feel less weird if he created a character for when he dressed like a woman," Kurt explained.

"Yeah, well it didn't," Puck griped at them.

"He picked out the name."

"It suits him," Finn (and Kurt) snickered. Puck used his left hand to cover Beth's eyes, and then used his right middle finger to flip the other two off. "This is the place," Finn noted to the driver, "can you turn down that alley?" the driver did. "Here's," Finn took out a wad of money, "I think fifty bucks. Could you go wait somewhere for another half-hour, forty-five minutes? It's for your own safety." Reluctantly, the driver took the money and did as instructed. "Puck, Kurt and I will be on the eleventh floor; if anything goes wrong, the control panel's over there," Finn pointed to the control panels. "When I asked Sam about this place: he told me the elevators work, but are still in test mode, so you have to close the doors yourself. However, the control panel does have an emergency elevator shutdown. If you need to, use it. After you see the other guys arrive, call the cops for us." Finn opened his door. "Come on, Kurt."

"Here," Kurt passed something to Puck.

"The hell is this?" Puck questioned him before looking at the paper.

"A rough draft of my will. If something goes wrong: I want to leave my wardrobe to Mercedes, my music collection to Rachel, and what very little money I have toward Beth going to a credible college."

…

"Kurt," Finn whispered, "they're here."

Hidden in a large air vent, Kurt readied his camera on the flip phone. "Camera ready."

"Ssh," Finn tried to be brave as an angry Rick started marching toward them, bodyguard in tow. "Hey Rick."

"I've had enough of this crap," Rick "greeted". "Where's my stash."

"It's in the elevator."

"Bull shit, we were just-"

"No, in the elevator _I_ rode up in," Finn pointed to the second elevator. "Go ahead, I put it where you could see it." Rick gestured for Cooter to go get it. "You know: you've really made this hard on me and my brother. I mean, we had no idea what was in that package."

"Yeah, no shit; I figured that out in like two seconds. You ain't pros."

"Right; we're _not_ pros."

"And yet you had to make everything so complicated."

"Well, this is our first drug…thing; we've never done this before."

"Obviously."

"Rick," Cooter got Rick's attention and then threw the "package" at him. "I double checked, it's all there."

"Awesome," Rick stowed the package in his pants and pointed to Finn. "You're forgivin' this time."

"I'm just glad this is all over," Finn agreed.

"You and me both; dealing with amateurs is a real pain in the ass."

"So is dealing with professionals."

Rick laughed, "Listen to him trying to make a joke. Come on, Cooter." As soon as Rick and Cooter turned their backs, there was a thud banging against metal. "What was that?"

Finn's eyes nervously darted back and forth. "What was what?"

"Are you abusin' our trust, here?"

"No, I-" Finn was interrupted by a surprised, "Whoa" preceding the air vent toppling over.

"He's wired; get him!" Finn quickly helped Kurt to his feet and they raced to the nearest elevator. Fortunately, Finn and Kurt made it to the elevator and closed the door in time. "Get in the other one!"

In their elevator, Finn and Kurt took a second to catch their breaths. "Sorry," Kurt apologized, "I dropped the phone and when I went to pick it up, I lost my balance."

"Did you get the proof?"

"Yeah, I got the proof."

"YOU GUYS ARE DEAD!" the brothers heard Rick vow as his elevator began making his descent.

"Crap, they're in the second elevator!"

"Puck's down there, he can shut it down," Finn reminded.

"So why isn't he?" Kurt looked at his phone. "I can't get any reception in here; how are we supposed to call him?"

"The old-fashioned way. PUCK!"

…

"Couldn't you have done that _before_ we left?" Puck quipped to his daughter as he finished changing. "What did they feed you?"

"PUCK!"

Puck looked toward the building and saw his roommates trying to get his attention from a moving elevator. "Wait here, Beth," Puck gently laid his daughter in the cab and ran to the control panel. "Crap, I don't know which one…" when he thought he found the right one, he activated the switch.

…

"What's going on?" Finn questioned as the elevator began to shake. "Why are we stopping?"

"Puck must've used the wrong switch," Kurt deduced.

The two brothers froze as they heard evil sounding snickering coming from across from them. Not only had Rick and Cooter's elevator caught up to them, it was about to pass them. "You're gonna give me that video," there was visible threat in Rick's voice. "Cooter, make this thing go faster!"

"PUCK!" Finn and Kurt tried calling out to Puck again.

"GUYS!" Puck called back. "ARE YOU OKAY?"

"PUSH ANOTHER BUTTON!" Finn commanded.

"Uh…" Puck frantically looked at the console.

"SOMETIME TODAY!" a sarcastic, yet shaken Kurt yelled.

Finding a button similar to the first one, Puck pushed a second one, and the elevator Rick and Cooter were in came to a sudden stop. "What did you do?" Puck could hear Rick accusingly question Cooter.

"So if that one stopped that one," Puck was thinking aloud before going back to the first switch, "then this one…"

He heard Finn and Kurt cheer with delight as their elevator was back in service. Their cheering was soon drowned out, however, by approaching police sirens. "Sometimes your boy really does come through," Kurt complimented to Finn about their comrade. "And when he does, thank God."

…

"Officer Figgins!" Finn (and Kurt) ran over to Figgins. "The guys—and the drugs—you're looking for are in that elevator. Oh, and we have video evidence on this flip phone they gave us"

Kurt passed the evidence to Figgins. "They were probably too stupid to realize this phone had a camera."

"Some professionals, right?"

"I suppose I underestimated you boys," Figgins admitted. "I must commend you for making the most of this mix-up."

"Is that a good thing?" Finn whispered to Kurt.

"Thank you, Officer," Kurt shook Figgins' hand before addressing Puck. "And thank _you_ Puck for making the call."

Figgins turned to Puck with a questionable brow raise. " _You're_ the father of this little girl?"

"Yes, sir, yes I am," Puck proudly responded.

"May I ask why you have fake breasts?"

* * *

 **A couple little references in there** — **a big one being for the musical _Hamilton_ , another for a season 3 Glee episode.**

 **Tried to end it funny, but at least I ended it. I wasn't really looking forward to this chapter to be honest, but it had to be done. The drug subplot is over now, I promise.**

 **But what new plot is in store…**


	10. Bye Bye Beth

… **this; this new plot is in store.**

* * *

Following the successful drug bust, the boys were able to get back to their old lives. Well, not so much _old_ lives now that Beth was in the picture. All in all, each of them were happy to step into their new fatherly roles. Free time was now spent at the park—where a lot of single women flocked to a cute guy with a baby—alternating days when the guys would bring Beth to work with them, swimming lessons at the community pool (complete with an underwater camera for underwater photos), and turning mundane things like bottles and diaper changing into miniature sporting events/games. Even Rachel and Mercedes took a liking to their roles as babysitters—or "unofficial godmothers" as Kurt bestowed upon them.

But the one thing that surprised Rachel happened at three am on a (technically) Tuesday. She was sleeping over with Finn when Beth's cries woke everyone up.

"I'm gonna go see what's wrong," Finn started to get up.

"Shouldn't Puck take care of it?" Rachel questioned.

"I know this cry and it usually happens when one of us is taking care of her, but she still won't stop crying."

"Aww, you can recognize her different cries?"

"Can't everyone?"

"Go see what's wrong," Rachel allowed.

"I'll be right back," Finn assured her as he went to see what was wrong with Beth. "Hi, Puck," Finn greeted as a sleepy Kurt shuffled into the room behind Finn.

"I've tried everything guys," Puck was trying to keep from raising his voice. "She just doesn't wanna stop crying and I don't know why."

"I know what has to be done," Kurt stated with a loud yawn. "Puck, begin rocking her, _gently_ ," Puck started to sway his daughter. "She just needs to be sung to."

"What do we sing?" Finn asked.

"I find the usual lullabies work."

"Screw those _usual_ lullabies," Puck objected. "If I'm gonna sing her to sleep, it's gonna be to a _real_ song."

"I hesitate to ask what you had in mind."

Following another loud cry, Puck started to shush the baby and began quietly singing.

" _Beth, I hear you callin'  
But I can't come home right now  
Me and the boys are playin'  
And we just can't find the sound_

" _Just a few more hours  
And I'll be right home to you  
I think I hear them callin'  
Oh Beth, what can I do  
Beth, what can I do"_

Finn then decided to take the second verse.

" _You say you feel so empty  
That our house just ain't a home  
I'm always somewhere else  
And you're always there alone"_

All the guys then decided to finish the song together as Beth let out a yawn

" _Just a few more hours  
And I'll be right home to you  
I think I hear them callin'  
Oh Beth, what can I do  
Beth, what can I do"_

Puck gently laid the now sleeping baby in her crib. "See, my song choices work better."

"I'll keep that in mind," Kurt turned and headed for his room.

"Thanks, bro."

Finn literally waved this off as he went back to his room. "Okay, that's done; sleep now." He wrapped himself in his blankets.

"Finn Hudson, I didn't know you sang like that," Rachel playfully chided.

"It helps her sleep," a groggy Finn responded.

"You know, Finn," Rachel began smoothing her hand along his back, "I'm having trouble sleeping too. Maybe you should sing to me." No response. "Finn?" The subsequent snore indicated that Finn certainly had no trouble falling asleep.

…

"Thanks again for the breakfast, Finn," Rachel thanked Finn as he escorted her out while holding Beth. "Same time next week?"

"It'll be the same breakfast," he informed her.

"It's not like I stay for the breakfast." Rachel bent over to give Beth a kiss. "Bye, bye, Beth."

"Don't I get one too?"

Rachel rolled her eyes before kissing her boyfriend. "Bye, Finn."

"Bye, Rachel," he shut the door once she was out of sight.

Humming the song from the night before, Rachel stood waiting for the elevator. Once it stopped for her to get on, she didn't realize somebody else was on there and bumped into them. "Sorry."

"It's okay," the stranger assured as she made her way to the apartment she was looking for.

"Okay," Finn was heard saying before the door opened, "what did you forget this ti-" he didn't complete his thought when he realized who was on the other side of the door. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else." The woman bit her lip. "Can I help you?"

"You're Finn, right?" she asked him.

"Yes."

"I've heard a lot about you."

"I'm sorry, have we met?"

"Not properly, no. I'm Quinn…Beth's mother." Finn's face began to falter a little because he had a gut feeling what Quinn was going to say next. "I've come to get her." And there it was.

"Yeah," was all Finn could muster. "Yeah, come on in."

"How's she doing?"

"She's fine; teething though—that's a real bitch." _Like you leaving her here and then taking her away_ , Finn couldn't help but think to himself. "I just set her down over here," Finn led Quinn to where Beth was.

Quinn couldn't help but gasp in delight when she saw Beth. "Hi, Baby." Beth seemed to know who this person was because she squealed in delight and allowed the blonde woman to pick her up. "Oh, you've gotten so big," Quinn said as she peppered kisses all over her daughter. "Mommy's missed you so much, Baby." Finn tried not to get upset as Quinn fawned over her daughter telling her how much she missed her and how beautiful she was. "Is Puck here?"

"Huh?" Finn snapped back to reality. "Yeah, give me a sec, I'll go get him." Before fetching Puck, Finn made a quick stop to Kurt's room. "Kurt," Finn shook his brother.

"Beauty sleep, Finn," Kurt snapped back.

"Quinn's here," that got Kurt to wake up, "she wants to take Beth back."

"What?"

Finn had already left for Puck's room before he could explain. "Puck." Puck opened his door. "Quinn's here."

Puck seemed disbelieved. "What?"

"Quinn's here and she wants to see you."

"She does."

"She wants to take Beth back."

Puck said nothing more as he pushed past Finn and into the living room where Quinn was waving a toy monkey in Beth's face. "Quinn." When she heard her name, she looked at the source. "It's really you."

"Hello, Noah. I…I was hoping you and I could talk."

He nodded. "Follow me," he beckoned before leading her to his bedroom.

"It doesn't take much for you to get me into your bedroom, does it?" Quinn's jest got a small chuckle from Puck. "Thank you for taking such good care of her."

"She is my daughter…isn't she?"

"Yes, she is," Quinn nodded before sitting on the bed. "I never told you this; but you were the first guy I ever slept with."

"I've known, but a part of me just wanted to hear it from you...about both of those things, really."

"I'm sorry I left her the way I did, truly I am; but I just couldn't take care of her on my own and my family practically disowned me when they found out I was unmarried and pregnant."

"When's her birthday?"

"Sorry?"

"In your note, you didn't tell us how old Beth was. When's her birthday?"

"June eighth."

"Was anyone there when she was born?"

Quinn shook her head. "I had planned on giving her up for adoption; but when I first saw her, I couldn't go through with it."

"I'm glad you didn't." He sat beside her. "You could have told me, you know; you _should_ have told me."

"I didn't want to disrupt your life. Things seemed to be going well for you."

"You tried to do it all alone?"

"But I couldn't, it was just too much. I wasn't making enough money, I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping; I don't think I was in my right mind when I decided to leave her with you the way I did."

"But you did."

"And you fell in love with her just like I did."

"So why do you want to take her away from me all of a sudden? Did your life magically get better or-"

"My parents are getting a divorce. My mother kicked my father out, and she told me I could come home. She could turn the guest room into a nursery for Beth and help me get a job and get on my feet. Maybe things will fare better for me in Lima; I'm not making much of a living appearing in commercials and music videos in New York."

"What about that time I saw you in that magazine?" Quinn couldn't help but smile. "I still have that pic if you wanna autograph it sometime." She tried to stifle a laugh. "Why Beth?" Quinn gave Puck a puzzling look. "I mean: why did you name her Beth?"

"It just made sense. That was my character's name in the music video we were in, and I heard you singing that song before rehearsal. You were getting ready and I was just passing by your room, we hadn't officially met yet." Beth began to whimper. "Ssh, baby it's okay, Mommy's here."

Puck tried not to wince as he got up. "Is this really want you want to do?" he solemnly (yet quietly) questioned her.

"What'd you say?" it became clear that she didn't hear him.

"I asked when you were leaving."

"I'm taking a later flight to Ohio."

"You're not staying in New York?"

"There isn't really anything keeping me here except Beth and I can take her home with me."

"To _Ohio_?"

"It's not like I'm taking her out of your life. If anything: you can go back to the way things were before I just left her on your doorstep."

"Can I, Quinn?"

"I'm sorry, Puck: but this is something I have to do. I don't have any other choice."

"Maybe you do," Puck quietly said.

"You really have to speak up so I can-"

"You'll keep me updated?" A pause. "Every day; you'll let me talk to her or somethin'?"

"Of course, you're her father."

"Good," that was all Puck could say. "Hold on and the guys and I will get her stuff together."

…

"Everything all packed?" Finn asked as Kurt zipped the bag closed.

"Yep," Kurt answered with indifference.

"You packed all the extra bottles, diapers, wipes, and her favorite blanket?"

"The blanket you gave her that held precious significance for you? Yeah, it's in there."

Finn gave an understanding sigh as he put his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I don't want to let her go either, Kurt; I love Beth."

"We should go and fight for her."

"We can't, Kurt. Puck's her real father: he has final say so."

"And he wants her to stay just as much as we do; he's just too damn proud to admit it."

"I saw his face when I told him Quinn was here. It's like he really cares about Quinn—at least more than any other random girl he's slept with. He's doing what he thinks is best for _both_ of them. It's like I said when she first got here Kurt: we have to do what's best for Beth, and it's just not us."

"Yes, it is Finn."

"It isn't," Finn picked up the bags, "we just want it to be because we all fell in love with her."

"It must be something special if _I_ fall for a girl."

"It is special," Finn paused, "it's just not meant to be."

…

"Don't be afraid to call us anytime," Finn assured Quinn as they all left for one last goodbye. "Day or night, rain or shine, whenever."

"Thank you, I'll hold you to that," Quinn thanked him.

Puck slammed the cab trunk shut. "Everything's all set and…and ready to go."

"Thank you," Quinn gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before addressing all of them. "And really, I can't thank you all enough for taking such good care of her. I promise I'll keep each of you updated on everything."

" _Every_ thing," Kurt stressed, "no matter how little it may seem." He held the cab door open for her and Beth to get into. "Promise?"

"Promise."

As Beth began to flail her hand, Puck reached out and grabbed it one last time. "Bye Beth," he gave her hand a kiss. "Daddy loves you: remember that, okay." The baby seemed to give some sort of babbled response. "Take care of our girl, Quinn."

"I will," she took Beth's hand from Puck's and used it to wave to her now previous guardians. "Bye, bye," she spoke on Beth's behalf.

"Bye, Beth," Kurt, Finn, and Puck each said before the taxi drove out of sight.

"Well gentlemen," Kurt broke the long, tensed silence, "back to our lives."

Together, the three men somberly made their way back into the apartment.

* * *

 **Aww, sadness. Even sadder—depending on your point of view—this fic is almost over. I know for sure there's a least one more chapter, but there may be more; who knows.**

 **Well, I do; but I think we should at least get the main plot out of the way.**


	11. Epilogue- The Family

**So…things have happened. I know work is an excuse, but now I have full time and they've occasionally put me on night shifts (one time I had to work a double), though my usual schedule is 2:30-11. There have been some bouts of depression and laziness, but thanks to my happy pill that doesn't last too long. I've also been more social; spending time with my family—new dog included—before my sister goes back to school. Oh, and I have a boyfriend. This guy is actually interested in me and what I have to say and has even once described me as "insanely cute" [this baffles me because no one is ever interested in me and what I have to say and I am nowhere near appealing to look at]. I've gotten more into reading for some reason as well. And with only 2 days off a week, I spend it with people or run errands or catch up on sleep. Because of these things, I have not had time to work on spare projects like this fic. I don't feel like a sorry is enough for you guys though.**

 **And because of those reasons, this is the last chapter. There's only one major plot point anyway and it's the ending. Will this be the end of writing in general? I dunno, hopefully not (I do have plans for the sequel outlined). Still, I feel I should at least finish it for you guys.**

 **And finish it I shall!**

* * *

"It's quiet," Finn nearly mumbled as he and Kurt sat in the living room staring off into the distance; the large screen TV off and the fashion magazines unread.

Kurt rested a sketchpad on his lap despite not putting it to use. "I don't like it either, Finn." He let out a sorrowful sounding sigh. "I know we took all those pictures, but maybe we should have gotten some more video of her." Silence followed. "Where's Puck?"

"He's locked himself in his room and he's listening to Kiss. Actually, he keeps listening to-"

" _Beth_ ," both brothers said in unison.

"This doesn't surprise me," Kurt stated before another bout of silence. This time, it was broken by Finn letting out a mix between a scoff and a chuckle. "What?"

"Remember how worried we were that they'd forget something?" Finn questioned.

Kurt raised a brow unsure of where this was going. "Yes?" Of course that came out like a question.

"They did," Finn pulled a crumpled out jersey fit for a baby out of his pocket. The jersey was one for Finn's team with Beth's name on the back. He sniffled as he fought back tears. "You think maybe we should go and give it to Quinn before-"

"It's not a good idea, Finn. Even if we knew where Quinn was, there's no way we'd get Beth back. We can't fight this; we're not Beth's parents."

"But we are Beth's _family_."

"Not her blood family. Besides, Beth needs her mother. And come on: guys like us raising kids; especially a little girl?"

"We have Rachel and Mercedes…and you. You could be like the cool aunt who-"

"Let it go, Finn. Maybe finally things will go back to normal and-"

Finn rose from his seat. "Can things ever go back to normal for us? What, do we go on and pretend like this never happened? Like _she_ never happened? I can't do that, Kurt! I can't." He put a hand on his chest. "My heart hurts too much and I feel bad."

"And you think you're the only one? I fell in love with that little girl too and I'm going to miss her just as much. But you said so yourself: we're not what's best for her."

"I can change my mind, can't I?"

"Finn-"

"Come on, Kurt: I know you're a sucker for those 'Third Act Declaration of Love Scenes' where the guy risks it all to get back to the girl and get her back because he loves her so much. This is our chance to do that!"

"But we don't even know where she is."

"I do," the stepbrothers turned to see Puck standing in the hall behind them. Before the brothers could process this, car keys were being flung in their direction—which Finn had luckily caught. "But if we're gonna do this right; we gotta do it now."

Finn quickly stood up. "I guess I'll drive." Once he started hurrying out of the apartment, the others followed suit.

…

You could cut the tension in the air with a knife as Finn drove the legal speed limit through the streets of New York while a silent Puck fidgeted in the front seat keeping his eyes at the windows.

Eventually, the silence became too much for Kurt. He leaned forward from his seat in the back. "I know this is a dramatic chase thing we're doing, but can we get a little music or something in here? You know me and awkward silence don't mix well."

"I got it," Finn turned on the radio.

" _-I heard you recently celebrated your daughter's first birthday."_ Finn had turned to the radio on only for everyone to learn it was some kind of celebrity interview.

" _I know, I can't believe it,"_ the celebrity gushed, _"it's like where did the time go. Elizabeth has also perfected the word 'dada', and I swear it just makes your heart melt. And whenever she-"_

Puck quickly turned off the radio and craned his head toward Finn. "Drive faster."

"You could have just changed the station," Kurt grumbled.

"Hey, I see the airport," without warning, Puck stomped his foot on the gas pedal (and on Finn's foot). It seemed to be effective because they were at the front within a few seconds. The second the car came to a stop was the second Puck ran out.

"I uh…" Finn put the car in park, "I guess we go after him."

Kurt nodded and got out of the car. "Can you even park here?"

"I'll pay the fine!" Finn led the way as he and Kurt sprinted to catch up with Puck.

"Gate four!" Puck had informed the brothers once they caught up to him. They soon had to slow down as they approached the metal detectors and the TSA agents. Despite complying, it was still suspicious that three men were frantically running through an airport without tickets or luggage so more guards were called to assess the situation. Fortunately, one of them was a fan of Finn and let them go...

…only for the guys to arrive at the gate as the plane was taking off.

…

None of them made a noise as they watched the plane fly off. It was also total silence as they went back to the car and drove home—Kurt didn't even suggest turning on the radio. Heck, it was quiet when the guys got back to the apartment and noticed the door was open. Redundantly shushing his companions, Finn led them into the apartment, grabbing the basketball near the front door.

"There you guys are!" The intruder was Rachel. "I've been trying to call you, but you all left your phones at the apartment. I mean, what gives?"

"Rachel?" Finn questioned. "What are you doing here?"

"You weren't answering your phones, I was worried. What's going on?"

"We were trying to stop Quinn from getting on the plane with Beth."

"What are you talking about; Beth's in the living room with the sitter."

This time Puck was the one to run forward. Sure enough, he was the first to see a sobbing Quinn shaking on the sofa while holding Beth. "Quinn!" he hurried to her side as the others entered the scene. "Is everything okay? Why are you-"

"I couldn't do it," she admitted through her sobs. "I didn't want to make another mistake and taking Beth away from you guys is a mistake and…" a pause to cry, "…I just don't know what to do."

"I'm confused," Rachel interrupted. "Who is this woman and why was she crying on your doorstep?"

"This is Beth's mom, Quinn," Finn explained. "She came back for her earlier to take her to Ohio."

"And yet they're not on the plane," Kurt concluded.

Quinn wiped away some tears. "I don't want to go back to Lima and be judged for this for the rest of my life. I love acting, and there's so much opportunity here; but I can't work and take care of Beth at the same time. If I don't get a job, I can't pay for a sitter and I just…I'm broke, I'm tired, and I feel like I'm not taking care of my baby," a sniffle, "I need help."

"Quinn, Honey, we'll help. We totally understand what you're going through—us three guys can barely manage."

"Yeah, we'll watch Beth. You don't even have to pay us," Puck added.

"We love having her here and you can leave her with us anytime. This way you'll have time to sleep, or go to an audition, go shopping, whatever."

"I'm one hundred percent cool with this."

"Yeah, well I'm not," Finn objected as he sat next to Quinn. "I don't want to be just Beth's _babysitter_. Beth should stay here with us, forever, we can be her family."

"Yeah, but it's not fair to Quinn."

"I agree with Puck," Kurt agreed, "Beth needs her mother."

"So what are we gonna do about that?"

Finn already had an idea in mind. "Quinn should move in with us too."

Rachel loudly cleared her throat. "I'm not exactly one hundred percent cool with that."

"Well…you can move in too."

"And how exactly are we all gonna live together in this apartment?"

"Then I'll get us a bigger place; some place big enough for us all to have our own room. Kurt, Puck, Quinn, Beth, me, and you."

"You're serious about this? You want me to move in with you?"

Finn blinked in realization. "I guess I do."

"I don't know, Finn. I mean, that living situation doesn't exactly seem ideal and-"

"The main focus for all this is Beth," Kurt reminded. "Even if you didn't move in with us, you wouldn't have to worry about losing Finn to Quinn."

"Just losing him to Beth," Puck commented

"Rachel," Finn went over to her and took her hands in his, "we're Beth's family too and we don't wanna lose her. But I want you to know that I love you, and I don't wanna lose you too. Beth may hold a special place in my heart, but you have my whole heart."

"Well," Rachel only took a moment to consider this, "having another woman around might be good for Beth in the long run. You all seem to have a hard time managing now so maybe together the five of us can handle one baby."

"So you'll do it?"

"I'll do it!"

"YES!" an ecstatic Finn scooped Rachel in his arms and spun her around the room before kissing her.

"Hold on," Kurt cut off the kiss, "that's only four official yesses." Everyone turned to Quinn. "What do you say Quinn?"

Quinn bit her lip as she looked down. She then looked back up with a big smile on her face. "I say yes." The room erupted in cheers.

"This calls for a celebration!" Kurt went into the kitchen and came back a minute or so later holding a tray with some wine, five wine glasses, and a baby bottle that had been pre-filled with formula. "This calls for a toast," he filled the glasses and passed them around as Puck gave the bottle to his daughter.

"May I?" Finn asked as he wrapped an arm around Rachel. After Kurt's approval nod, Finn cleared his throat. "Things are totally awesome right now just the way they are and I think we should toast to the reason for that," he raised his glass in Beth's direction. "To Beth."

Everyone agreed with the sentiment as they toasted, "To Beth!"

* * *

 **Throwback to the first chapter as a way to celebrate the final chapter. Thanks for sticking with me through this fic everybody. Peace out!**


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